Monday, September 30, 2013

Walking Dead Spinoff Ideas

Before I start, I'd like to give a special shoutout to Shayna, the greatest waitress ever at Tavern In The Square (TITS!) in Allston.  I'd also like to apologize on behalf of my friend for being a douche and ordering a Maker's Mark Manhattan on the rocks.  Who does that?  This isn't Mad Men.  Anyways, thanks for putting up with us and saying that my card was way better than my roommate's boring accounting business card. 

Now that Breaking Bad is over with and Mad Men is slowly coming to an end, the future of AMC as a powerhouse station may be in jeopardy.  No matter how hard they try, nobody will give a shit about Low Winter Sun.  This now means that The Walking Dead is the top dog of shows for AMC in terms of the future.  Recently, it was announced that a Walking Dead spinoff was in the works, with different characters and story lines, but in the same 'universe' as the actual Walking Dead show.  With this in mind, here are some possible ideas for this spin-off: 

Sex and the Zombie Infested City: Carrie Bradshaw writes about finding love in a post-zombie apocalyptic New York City while her slutty friend Samantha keeps going from Zombie boy toy to Zombie boy toy.  

Kinda disturbing.
Walking Dead: Miami- It all started with a dude on bath salts and a homeless person.  What spread next was a zombie apocalypse unlike any other…apocalypse.  

Pretty Little Zombies: Who Ate A?- Follow the girl's as they find out that about 16 different people who appear to be "A" get eaten alive, all while going to high school!

Walking Dead SVU- SVU is the one with Mariska Hargitay right?  Love her. 

2 and a half Zombies- Charlie Sheen comes back from the dead! 

Modern Zombie Family- Those whacky Dunphy's are at it again!  Check out the family deal with the loss of that annoying little brat Manny after he becomes dinner one night.  Spoiler alert: Sofia Vergara doesn't die.  

Zombies Next Door- After the Playboy Mansion gets overrun by the Undead, Hugh Hefner (still not dead) chooses 3 of his favorite zombie playmates to be his girlfriend(s).  Follow the girls around as they wander around aimlessly and have the same IQ as Bridget, Holly and Kendra did in real life.

Queer Eye For the Zombie Guy- The Fab 5 are back to give makeovers to zombies who think that only gay men can be stylish, well-groomed and have great interior design ideas.

Pimp My Zombie- No doubt in my mind that Xzibit and the rest of the West Coast Customs gang will survive a zombie apocalypse.  As a propaganda tool to help boost America's morale, the Pimp My Ride crew will pimp up captured zombies so the rest of the world can get a laugh at a zombie's expense every once in a while.  I actually kinda miss Pimp My Ride now that I'm talking about it. 

RZONJ: Real Zombies of New Jersey- If there is one state in the good country of America to be infested with zombies first, it will be New Jersey.  After a popular tanning oil turns out to be a chemical attack, the general population of New Jersey have turned into zombies.  Follow the action with your favorite zombie housewives as they bicker and pretend they are tough while they get paid money to have their meaningless, boring lives put on television for the world to make fun of!  (Thank you Rizz for the idea)

Walking Dead: In Space- Honestly, if you can have Jason and his chainsaw up in space and make a full movie of it, you should be able to with zombies and make a tv series.  

Teen Mom: Undead- Cameras follow around a bunch of zombie teenage moms as they struggle with their lives looking for brains and raising a kid at such a tender age.  Hardships ensue concerning not being able to go to parties and realizing that their boyfriends may not be "the one".  

DeadMen- A New York advertising agency in the 1960's use zombies to their advantage in the business world with Don Draper leading the charge of zombie marketing, while always being drunk, chasing skirts and keeping his true identity a secret.  


Keeping Up With the Kardashians

"Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!"
24: Zombie Redemption-  CTU agent Jack Bauer saves America once again by spending all day killing zombies.  This should seriously be made into a show.  Seriously.  You can't lose with Kiefer Sutherland shooting zombies.  

How I Met Your Zombie: A lighthearted affair of the story of how some guy meets his soul-zombie.  Neil Patrick Harris provides comic relief as a ladies man.  

Zombie Dynasty: Cameras follow around the lives of a Hillbilly family who became filthy rich after creating a zombie call device to attract the undead.  

Buffy The Zombie Slayer: After getting bored with slaying Vampires, Buffy is back and ready to take on a new breed of evil.

Zombie Meets World- Never mind.  Boy Meets World was too awesome to have a parody of.  We can't risk a beloved character like Mr. Feeny getting eaten alive.  

Zombies of Anarchy: A gang of biker zombies cruise around and look for trouble.  What is Sons of Anarchy even about?  Did I nail the actual plot minus the whole zombie thing just now?

Walker, Texas Zombie Ranger:  Chuck Norris is back and ready to take on Texas style Zombies.  Using his true badass form, he takes on the zombie apocalypse with his killer kung fu moves, ginger hair and terrible one-liners.  Throw some cowboy hats and spurs on the zombies and you have yourself a hit. 

lol good one.

Touched by a Zombie- I vaguely remember this show being a type of Hallmark style thing.  Touched by a zombie will make stay at home mom's quiver with fear instead of wiping away tears of joy or sadness or whatever the hell Touched By an Angel brought them.  

The Young and the Lifeless: If WWF was considered a soap opera for guys in the late 90's/early 00's, then this gem of an idea should really be a smash hit.  I have no idea what the Young and the Restless was about, but I'm guessing various love triangles and backstabbing.  Throw in some bloodthirsty zombies into the mix and you can sign me up, even if it consists of a ton of over-acting and a weird quality of film being used.

The Zombie Bunch:  Here's a story.  Of a zombie named Brady.  You guessed it, single zombie father of 3 zombie boys marries a single zombie mother of 3 zombie girls and becomes one happy, zany family who hunt down humans for fun.  Don't forget their quirky zombie maid named Malice who will be providing the comic relief while getting underpaid!

I can't believe this has already been thought of.
2 Broke Zombies: I mean, it has to be better than 2 Broke Girls just on principle, right?

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