Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Pop Culture and Current Events Smorgasbord Blitz

As you all can probably tell, finding blog topics is always hard for me. I think I complain about that fact in almost every blogpost I’ve written. I never want to half ass it or bore people with a blog topic, so I guess I find myself being very skeptical and, dare I say, choosey about what I decide to write about. It’s a mood thing for me I guess. That being said, I’m in the mood for a lightening round of a dissection of pop culture. Sometimes it is just easier (and more enjoyable) to just write about random things rather than one subject. Before I start, some major shoutouts are in order to two of my favorite females out there, Angela Ju and Nicole “Bro”Russo, whom I shared a lovely dinner with at the Abbey last night. Girls, keep on keepin’ on. Much love. Much respect. Anywho, I now proudly present to you: The Pop Culture and Current Events Smorgasbord Blitz.

· How about that Instagram? I’m kind of undecided about it still, even after breaking records with 163 followers and posting some true works of art straight from my iphone. What bothers me is that for every single cool picture you come across from people you follow, there are about a dozen pictures of food, nature, and outfits that I just really don’t care about. I mean really (and I realize I’ve been guilty of this a handful of times, but still) why is it so prevalent on Instagram? I’m sure there would be backlash if I Instagrammed a picture of every single pillow I come across, right? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m getting bored of all the pictures of chicken parm and craft beers I’m seeing.

· There was some backlash from my previous blog in which I bashed the people of Whole Foods. The National Hipster Association was rather peeved at me, and threatened to revoke my membership if I keep it up. In other news, the rest of society seemed pleased to have me back. Also, I’d like to make it a point that I did not make up the part about the dude in the powdered wig. Some people asked me if that was true, and it really was.

· Good to see that Kelso and Jackie from That 70’s Show are dating again! Only Ashton Kutcher could go from Demi Moore to Mila Kunis. I wonder how that other guy from Dude, Where’s My Car is doing these days. Anyways, good for Ashton and Mila. I just hope that when Ashton fucks up and cheats on Mila in a few months that Red Foreman pops out of nowhere and calls him a Dumbass just like in the good ol days.

· The MLB Playoffs have started, giving people across the country an excuse to go to a bar to watch 4 hour long games and get wasted. I was actually very excited for the playoffs to start this year, because it meant that the suffering came to an end for Boston Red Sox fans after this awful, horrible, historically bad season. The only way the Red Sox could’ve gotten me to watch any games in September would’ve been if they brought back the whole 2004 World Series team roster for a game or two. How awesome would it have been to see Mark Bellhorn strike out 12 more times in 3 games?

· Still waiting on Carly Rae Jepsen to have a follow up smash single to Call Me Maybe. I have to finally admit, come clean, tell-the-truth-the-whole-truth-and-nothing-but-the-truth, that I am a fan of the song. You may have one this battle Carle, but you still are a train wreck waiting to happen. As of now, you’re a very successful One Hit Wonder, with rumors of a sex tape and leaked nude pictures that probably didn’t make your father all to proud.

· Kind of freaked out by Lorena Garcia, the Taco Bell executive chef. It’s a nice concept to have a ‘gourmet’ chef as their spokesperson, but I really don’t think that the Taco Bell in Rumford, Rhode Island on Newport Ave has any gourmet chefs working in that kitchen. I don’t care if The Barefoot Contessa or Paula Deen is working back there, I’ll never call Taco Bell ‘gourmet’. Maybe if Giada de Laurentiis was working there. That woman is a fox. Anyways, I call shenanigans on this whole ‘gourmet’ campaign.

· Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj got into a fight this past week. I’m sure I’m speaking on behalf of a good portion of the population by saying that I hope they fight each other to the death, hopefully ending in a tie. See what I did there?

· I’m not big on politics. I realize I should be, but I’m not. I’m going to vote, I’m already decided but I just really wish that there were different choices out there than what we have in this election. Seems like it’s a lose-lose situation. That’s all I’m saying.

· Has anyone seen any good movies lately? I’m in a rut and need to see some new stuff, but I can’t decide on what to watch. Leave a comment under this post to give me some ideas. Shoutouts will be rewarded for those with good ideas.

· EDM is starting to rapidly take over the world. Last week I attended a show at Royale in Boston with the Rizzini brothers and the lovely Jenna Borkoski. It’s a scene unlike any other. We saw Zedd and Porter Robinson kill it. The crowd was insane and for anyone who hasn’t given EDM a shot, now might be the time. It is kind of funny though, this is the type of music that everyone was making fun of in the late 90’s and calling it Eurotrash stuff. Funny how things come back around.

· Snoop Dogg is becoming Snoop Lion to help promote his newfound love for Reggae. Coincidentally, I will be changing my name to Lil Jimmi, to help promote my newfound sarcastic love for Hip Hop.

· I tweeted the other day about a girl on the train home from Boston who had her ringtone as Psycho Killer by the Talking Heads, only to complain to the person on the other line about how she was single and miserable. This got me thinking about other bad ringtones that people shouldn’t have. The Caridgan’s ‘Lovefool’ (you know it, “Love me, love me, saaaay that you love me”) and The Cranberries’ ‘Zombie’ are at the top of the list due to how easily they get stuck in people’s heads. Radiohead’s classic ‘Creep’ would also be a bad ringtone for anyone who is currently looking for a significant other in their life. In the age of facebook creeping and such, having ‘Creep’ as a ringtone just isn’t smart, no matter how awesome the song is. ‘Levels’ by Avicii would also be a bad idea as it would most likely start a rave/dance party in the near vicinity of where your phone is, most likely causing in delays and such. Any ringtone of a Dave Matthews song is also a bad idea, as you will become extremely at risk to me taking your phone and smashing it against a brick wall.

· Taylor Swift released a new song entitled ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ which features some sort of dubstep in it. You know, since when I think of dubstep, Taylor Swift comes to mind right off the bat. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m getting sick of Taylor Swift. She’s really gone downhill since ‘Love Story’ in my personal opinion. How much longer can she keep writing songs about guys that she used to date but broke her heart after they realized how boring she is? It’s getting real old real quick. My advice to T. Swift is to quit being such a prude, take a sip of beer and write about something else. Hofstra’s finest Annik Spencer suggested I write my own song about Taylor Swift, like the time that she bombed as host on Saturday Night Live, and I might take her up on that. I mean hey it’ll be a welcome change up for a song involving Swift with something else than men. The Chili Peppers don’t need to write any more songs about California, Lil Wayne doesn’t need to write any more songs about money and girls, Justin Bieber doesn’t need to write any more songs period, and T. Swift doesn’t need to write any more songs about dudes.

· Finally, it’s Fake Alumni Weekend starting this Friday. On behalf of, well, myself, I’d like to say that it’ll be an honor to get back together with you drunk idiots from the PC class of 2012. Let’s get weird. It really hasn’t been the same since graduating, and I think I can speak for the majority of those coming back to Providence that this weekend will be interesting to say the very least. I’ll be willing to buy anyone drinks at Old’s in exchange for compliments on the blog to help boost my ego.