Thursday, June 24, 2010


Thanks to Toy Story 3, I've been starting to feel old. This may sound odd to some, but knowing that Andy is now grown up and going off to college, I officially feel like childhood has come to a deadend. I'm not sure if it's kinda sad that I still consider being in college part of my childhood, but it's not as sad as Algeria giving up a goal in the 91st minute to a dude named Landon, thus crushing the country's hopes and dreams. Anyways, with Andy going off to college and AMANDA BYNES RETIRING FROM ACTING, I pondered just how much I've lived through. I'm turning 20 on July 4th, and it's a weird age. I'm still not legal to drink and be an official adult to some, yet I'm done with being a teenager. Turning 20 is like a tease from God. It's like he's saying I'm grown up but still can't get drunk and do stupid things with my friends legally at house parties. I guess I have grown up a bit from the last time we saw Buzz Lightyear, Woody and Mr. Potatohead, but my life has turned out differently from what I thought it would be when I was 9 (when Toy Story 2 came out). So let's play a game. We'll call it "Flashback to 1999 and see if I was right", or as some call it, Ft99asiIwr. Let's begin:

Career Wise: This could be the most disappointing and far off thing from predictions when I was 9. When I was 9, I wanted to play point guard for the Chicago Bulls. I didn't want anything else. No firefighting, no baking, no astronauting, I just wanted to play alongside Michael Jordan and shoot 3's like it was my job. This dream was actually shattered quickly, considering MJ retired soon afterwards, the Bulls haven't done anything since, I stopped playing basketball in the 6th grade, I've converted fully to a Celtics fan, and honestly I don't even watch the NBA until playoffs. Now that I'm a psychology major, it's funny to me that I didn't know what a psychologist was when I was nine, and if I did I probably would've thought it would be the most boring career ever. Then I would have gone outside and taken shots on my Fisher Price basketball hoop that I was still using although I was way too old for it.

School Wise: When I was nine, I was Mr. Boston College for years. This was due to my Uncle Chris taking me to BC football games all the time when I was young, and I figured that since it was in Boston and had a football team, I would just get in there. Providence College was like a joke to me back when I was 9. Why would I ever stay in Rhode Island for college? Are you kidding me? I'm getting the hell out of here and taking the long road to Massachusetts! Only I probably would've said heck instead of hell, but you get the picture. My dream of BC came to a halt when I was a Freshman in high school and realized that I sucked at any math that rhymed with tree-ometry, twig-ometry, or pre-braculus. This actually worked out though, since PC is my home and is always ready to party. I would take Boston College's basketball team for next year, but whatever. Also, a big difference from 4th grade and college is the teachers! I had a woman who cared about us and gave the class a "big gold star!" if you did something good. Now in college it's a big deal if your professor looks at you during class. Oh and we don't have recess at college. Actually I take that back, about 95% of college can be considered recess, only you add booze and developed girls into the picture.

Music Wise: In the fourth grade, I liked just mainstream stuff I suppose. The occasional MMMBop song was okay, Britney Spears was telling us she wanted it one more time, baby, and we all were livin' la vida loca with Ricky Martin who was straight (or so we thought) back then. I'll admit, my Dad made me a cassette tape for my walkman when I was really young with stuff like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, The Offspring and other bands that 7-9 year olds shouldn't be listening to, and I felt like the bee's knees for having it. (Note, it struck me about 2 years ago with this cassette tape that it's odd that my Dad let me listen to the song Jeremy by Pearl Jam at such a young age, the song's about suicide in a classroom! Good thing it took me so long to understand the lyrics). Now here I am, almost able to collect social security at the ripe age of 20, and I'm listening to bands like Taking Back Sunday, The Clash, Motion City Soundtrack, Brand New, and Weezer. If you were to ask me at age 9 my thoughts on Lady Gaga, MGMT, Eminem and Smash Mouth, I would've told you that Lady Gaga was probably the next host of Blue's Clues, MGMT was just you mixing up you're alphabet, Eminems would be great to eat right now straight from the (w)rapper and I'd probably tell you that Smash Mouth will be big for years and years to come. Oh boy how music has progressed from 1999. Oh, and looking back upon it now, I consider myself lucky that from ages 9-12ish Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock didn't influence my life as much as I listened to their cd's back then. How did my parents allow me to listen to all those swear words. Almost makes me wonder what Fred Durst is doing right now.

Apperance Wise: I'll be honest, besides growing a foot and having semi-long curly hair, I haven't changed at all. I have almost as much facial hair now as I did back in 1999, and I'll be the first to tell you that I haven't changed at all. I will say that my wardrobe has improved thank the good lord almighty. I look back at pictures of myself now from 4th grade and I want to puke. Remember the scene in Happy Gilmore where Happy sees the man in front of him dressed like a "normal" golfer and says "If I saw myself wearing clothes like that, I'd have to kick my own ass"? That's how I feel about me and my mom's clothing styles for myself back then. Instead of wearing those pants that zipped off into shorts, I only wear jeans now. Also, seeing myself with a buzzcut and the occasional hairflip thing in the front is good for a laugh. It's also good that I've progressed from WWF t-shirts to band and sports tshirts. I'm starting to wonder if style in general took a hiatus in the 90's. At least the 80's had a noticeable sense of style that we can laugh at.

Girl Wise: I'll be honest, when I was 9 I acted like I had a new girlfriend each week. I'd tell somebody that I had a crush on Little Suzie Jefferson one day, then the next day it was Honest Harriet Smith. As you can imagine, it didn't work out for me going from one girl to the next back then. I wouldn't really call myself a heart breaker, mainly because those girls always had a crush on somebody else. I felt like 4th grade love stories should've had it's own soap opera after The Young & The Restless. Now that I'm in college, I've come to realize that nothing has changed and I'm still falling in love with girls I walk by on Thayer street or at the mall and never see again, and as always, they never had crushes back on me (or they just didn't see me and notice how dashingly handsome I am, which is probably the case). It also doesn't help that I'm using the same pickup lines since the 4th grade, such as "Is your name Summer? Cause you're hot", or "Do you know CPR? Cause you take my breath away", or my personal favorite "You must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet". I'm now starting to realize why I don't have luck with girls these days.

Friend Wise: Possibly the most tragic part of the blog. I only hang out with about 3 people from the 4th grade. Chuck Wescott and Tyler Blatchley. Me and Chuck have improved greatly from 4th grade, however Tyler worries me because he really hasn't changed that much from the 4th grade. Seriously though, it is kinda weird looking back upon it how close I was to some kids back then and get so far apart from them.

Finally, what 9 year old Jimothy would say to 19 almost 10 year old Jimothy: I wouldn't know what a blog was, nor what Breakfast at Tiffany's was. I also didn't have the ability to make a play on words. The only thing dealing with breakfast when I was 9 was poptarts, which is better than me not eating breakfast at all these days. I would be pleased with myself that Macaroni and Cheese is still being consumed by myself 3 nights a week. I would be thrilled with the thought of having my own car, since I never was one for riding bikes. I'd be disappointed that the Bruins still haven't won a Stanley Cup, but even more disappointed that I'm not filthy rich yet. I'm sure 9 year old Jimothy would have figured that by the age of 20 I was moved out of my house and knew everything about everything, because 20 seems so far away when you're 9. I do plan on seeing Toy Story 3, because it'll bring out the inner child in me. 1999 was okay, but I think Prince was going a little overboard by telling us to Party Like It was 1999. Now that I'm an old man and can go to parties that aren't being supervised by adults, it seems sorta lame to party like it was 1999. Anyways, I guess it's true when they say that time flies when you're having fun, and that's exactly what has happened in my life, and I don't regret that at all.

I'd like to give a shoutout to Kyle, Eric and Brian Towne, along with Alyssa and Danielle Rizzini or being such faithful diners. It makes me proud to have people asking me when the next blog is coming out. For the facebook status shoutouts, I shall grant shoutouts to Meg "MerMerMer" O'Neill, Rob "Coverboy for the SAT studyguide" Moreira, Ryan "BROrmerod" Ormerod, Frank "The Tank" Gassert and Scott "Prancin' Dancin'" Damiano.

Proud to be a citizen of a country that be Algeria in soccer, but even prouder to be serving you Breakfast,

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous

As some of you may or may not know, this past weekend (Thursday to Monday) myself, Andrew Chace, and the flying Rizzini Brothers were in Chicago. This trip was by far the most adventurous journey of my life. By pure luck, I was in town for the Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup Championship parade right downtown, so I had my one chance to pull a Ferris Bueller and perform Twist and Shout on a parade float, but needless to say it was harder than it looked in the movie. I probably couldn't have had a better chance to do it considering championship parades don't happen very often in Chicago (see: Cubs, 1908) since Michael Jordan left town (I know the White Sox won in '05 but we all know that was a fluke). I certainly had the courage to hijack a float without security noticing, but I left my microphone and boombox at home, thus I couldn't perform the song, so I'm sorry for letting you all down, BUT I will share a story that will be one I plan on telling my grandkids. For the record, this story really did happen and you can ask Matt, Chris or Andrew and they will tell you it all happened, because it was the greatest thing the 4 of us have ever done in all our lives, which is pretty pathetic but I'll take it. Here we go.

Saturday night we went to Mike Ditka's restaurant downtown in the midst of sky scrapers and beautiful midwestern girls, and we decided to dress up to look like big shots. We all had on dress shirts, ties, dress shoes and pants and were looking rather dapper. We wanted to feel important so Andrew called ahead and made reservations when we didn't need them whatsoever. Anyways, we get to the restaurant and had a lovely dinner blah blah blah. Fast forward through the walking around and waiting for busses and we wind up at the Navy Pier. The Navy Pier is basically a really really nice boardwalk complete with some banquet hall, numerous restaurants and shops, a ferris wheel and a bunch of rides, and it is right on Lake Michigan. If you were to take the boardwalk from Rocket Power, this would be it. We originally went to the Navy Pier to watch the Saturday night fireworks and just walk around. We got there in time and saw fireworks, and we knew it was going to be a good night when we turned a corner and saw a Salt n' Peppa cover band singing "Push It" and then witnessed a "booty shaking contest" conducted by one of the whitest rapper/dj's ever seen. I'd be willing to use the term Wanksta if that's what the kids still call Crackas these days, but whatever. After watching a few more covers of certain songs by Sir Mixx-a-Lot about rear-ends, we decided to walk to the end of the pier. This is where it gets interesting.

As we get to the end of the pier, we see this banquet hall through glass and notice immediately that there are security guards at ever door and the people inside are wearing tuxedos. This can only mean one thing: money. Since we're poor college kids with bleak futures, we obviously were intrigued, but we kept on walking a little farther. As we passed by one door however, this woman who can only be put in the Cougar category spotted us, waved and said "Hey You Guys!". Unsure if she thought we stole money from her or if she knew us, we turned around and walked towards her and her companion who was this blonde girl about our age. We started talking and this woman (let's call her Cougar Carol) told us that the event was "a bunch of rich guys raising money for something". She lated elaborated a bit and told us that it was a "black tie event fundraiser for Northwestern Medical", which we lated found out was called Prentice Palooza, which doesn't sound that rich for some reason. Anyways, the purpose of Cougar Carol hunting the four of us good looking guys was that she was drunk and looking for a man for her friend Courtney, who was her boss' daughter(?). She asked us how old we were and when Andrew said 21, she just immediately assumed we all were considering the other 3 of us didn't say a word about our age (which is odd considering Chris really is 21 and Andrew is only 20...). After telling Cougar Carol that we're all from East Providence, and me having to inform her that Providence College is in Providence, Rhode Island, she said out of nowhere "wanna come in?". What the hell kind of a question is that? Did she really think that we wouldn't take her up on that? Was she expecting us to say something along the lines of "oh no Ma'am, that's mighty nice of you, but we shouldn't attend an event we didn't pay $1,000 to get into". We said yes quicker than you can say the word flamingo, and then Cougar Carol took Courtney aside to discuss things for a minute. The four of us got into a group huddle and realized that we had a chance to do something only seen in Wedding Crashers. We all decided that if this woman comes back and says we can come in, we are doing it and we are going to stay until we get thrown out. After a minute, Cougar Carol came back and reluctantly told us that she didn't think it was a good idea. If there is any type of person I hate more than anything, it's a person who tells us we can crash a black tie event and then tell us it's not a good idea. No shit it's not a good idea, we're college kids who shouldn't be partying with Illinois' finest millionaires. We weren't taking no for an answer. We sorta made Cougar Carol feel bad by saying "ahhh c'mon", and it sorta worked, because as they were walking back in, Cougar Carol said "Okay fine, follow me and sneak in quick". This was like telling Amy Winehouse to snort some coke. We sort of hesitated a split second and then took a deep breath and just walked in. I think the security guard said something to Andrew along the lines of "are you with this party?" to which Andrew replied "uh yeah" and we all just walked in.

We quickly realized that we were with the snooty people of Chicago. This fundraiser was the most lavish and stunning event I have and may ever go to. There were dancers on podiums, a live band (Lynn Jordan and the Shivers), and a lot of drunk rich people. I saw your classic escorts, golddiggers, 20-something blonde bombshells dancing with 80-something year old millionairse on their deathbed, the whole sha-bang. I felt starstruck at this place. We realized that we were dressed up nice, but not nice enough since everyone was wearing a tux, so we decided to split up into groups of 2 (myself and Matt, Andrew and Chris) and walked around the place pretending that either we were someones son/nephew or we were waiters at the place. Matthew and I were about to go join the wealthy on the ballroom dance floor, but just as we got up there a slow song started playing, dashing our hopes of finding some gorgeous 20 year old millionaire to sweep off her feet. Instead of dancing, we spotted a professional photographer (the kind you see at your cousin's wedding taking pictures of everyone there), so of course we took a picture together. It must have been pretty funny when they developed it seeing all these socialites and then two jackasses from Rhode Island grinning like we broke into a black tie event (oh wait, we did). Very soon afterwards, Andrew came up to us, wrapped his arms around our shoulders and lovingly said "guys! it's been a great time, but we're getting thrown out". This was about 15 minutes after arriving. Some security guard asked Chris if we were on a list, and after saying that we were guests of Courtney, the guard finally realized that we were not infact millionaires giving money to Northwestern Medical, so we unfortunately had to leave. Those were the greatest 15 minutes of my life. We took it all in stride and weren't bummed about it, because those were 15 minutes more than we all thought we were going to spend inside that place.

After getting kicked out, we did the next thing anyone would do after getting thrown out, go on the ferris wheel. Honestly, this weekend was amazing and Chicago is by far my favorite city of all time. I have a few more stories I'd like to share but this one is good enough for this blog, hopefully I'll share more this upcoming week. If you ever get the chance to visit Chicago, you should do it, it's an unbelievable city and deserves your love. As for shoutouts, Lynzee Gillis, my beloved cousin, here's your long awaited shoutout, so you can stop making me feel like a horrible cousin for forgetting it. Also, Sean Mottola for somehow getting half of his body into the new blog picture. Lastly, Matt, Chris and Andrew for a wonderful time. Best weekend ever.

Proud to be a Blackhawks fan, even prouder to be serving you Breakfast,