Saturday, September 18, 2010

What The Hell? Part III

Once again, somebody posted a series of questions for me to answer on the blog. Honestly, I have no idea who it is, like not even a clue. I gotta say that I'm not as creeped out at the fact that I'm receiving the questions since I've kinda gotten used to it, but some of these questions are just odd. I will give whoever you are credit for making them interesting questions and some of them are pretty funny, however some of them are just weird. Oh well, who am I kidding this gives me a good reason to blog, so here goes nothing! All the questions are straight as they appear from the comment section of the It's Kool 2B in Skool blog I made last week.

Anonymous said...
some inspiration.......

1. Why Jim and not James?
I didn't want people to get me confused with James and the Giant Peach, so when I was about 3 months old I decided to go by Jim.

2. What are you looking for in a wife (besides being an excellent sandwich maker)?
She's gotta be a woman, have a wonderful personality, is okay with attending Bruins games with me, can make me laugh, and lastly, is a good beer pong partner.

3. What's the best class you've taken in college and why?
My best class at Providence College was probably Growth in Christian Life because it taught me to never take another Theology class ever again. Seriously though, it was probably Educational Psychology. It was fun.

4. What's your favorite TBS lyric?
There's too many. Taking Back Sunday has had a lot of great lyrics. I was always a fan of "This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue/and two eyes through the scope down the barrel of a gun" from Timberwolves at New Jersey, or in You're So Last Summer "And you could slit my throat/and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize/for bleeding on your shirt". They're so depressing and angry it's awesome. I could go on and on, cause I've got the mic and you've got the moshpit.

5. Do you prefer to greet acquaintances with the stop-and-chat, the awkward wave/head nod, or the ignore-and-check-your-phone method?
It varies. If I'm not in a rush and I see someone I hang out with every once in a while, I'll do the stop-and-chat. If I'm in a rush with soemone I hang out with, or if I see a person that I know but not all that well, I'll do the awkward wave/head nod. I try to stay away from the ignore-and-check-your-phone method, however I have done it a few times to a few girls I'm trying to hide from/are scared of.

******6. Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?????
I'm not sure what oral sex is.

7. If you were Noah, and could only bring one pair of animals on the ark, which kind would you bring?
This is a great question actually. I'd have to go with a pair of Koala Bears. They're awesome. Penguins are my second choice.

8. Mean, median, or mode?
The answer is mode. Always mode.

9. What's your Dunkin Donuts order?
Large caramel coffee, extra extra. If I'm hungry I'll get a Turkey Cheddar Bacon flatbread sandwhich to go with the coffee.

10. Justify your existence in 30 words or less.
Well, obviously we got a rapist here, in Lincoln Park. He's climbing in your windows, snatching your people up, tryna rape em', so ya'll need to hide ya wife, hide ya

12. Favorite spot in RI?
Thayer Street. What else is there to do in Rhode Island? Yeah the mall is fun but if I were going to answer "the mall" I'd seem lame. So I'll go with Thayer Street.

13. Favorite place in the world?
This is pretty tough. Boston is pretty awesome but Chicago is right up there too. If you had a gun to my head and asked me, I'd probably have to go with my family roots and say Boston. Much love to Chi-town though. Go Blackhawks

14. Do you use gmail?
No actually, but if you give me your gmail I'll make one and we can have more conversations about weird questions.

15. Say you were visiting a small, not-on-the-map, 500-population town in South Dakota, all alone. While walking down the unlit (there are no streetlights) street at midnight, in search of a place to stay, a rumpled hooligan mugs you. He steals your wallet, phone, shoes, and pants. The rumpled hooligan was from Kenya, so you couldn't catch him, and since people in South Dakota are anti-social and probably afraid of black people, no one came out to help you. How do you get home?
That's easy, I'd make the town in South Dakota my home. Since theres so few people there, I'd befriend all the anti-social locals and eventually become mayor. I'd bring streetlights to the town, make the police force bigger by higher more people after raising taxes to pay for it and make the neighborhood more safe so that other people can't get mugged by rumpled hooligans from Kenya.

16. When was the last time you used a phone with a cord?
July 2nd, 2010. I answer the phone at my house in my kitchen and my grandmother wanted to ask my mom if she had to bring any meatballs to my birthday party cookout on the 4th.

17. Was Windows 7 your idea?
No, but sliced bread, this blog, remote controls, and Twitter were some of my ideas.

18. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?
You can't put me on the spot like that. No matter what I say people are going to get pissed off and think of me as a bad person. I'm not a politician. I'll keep that answer to myself, but since you skipped question #11, I'll answer a question of my choice: If you could chill with any 3 movie characters who would they be? Well, I'd like to hangout with Ferris Bueller, James Bond, and V from V For Vendetta.

Word Association
Gryffindor: Snape
Apple: Granny Smith
Quarter: Abe Lincoln
Purple: Barney
Diamond: Dustin Pedroia
Blood: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Gum: Cork

the person who left this comment is not who you think it is. nope, it's not that person either. sorry, wrong again! just stop trying, it's useless. As indicated, #6 is the most essential question for understanding that who is Jim Kirwan. Ponder. Contemplate. Answer.

I have to say, I found the majority of this pretty funny, however I have absolutely no idea what the hell #6 is about. Like none. I'm so puzzled by it and how it is the most essential question for understanding who I am. I mean I can see if it was Macaroni and Cheese, cause that's a no brainer but no cheese is just weird. However, you could make the point that Macaroni and Cheese isn't possible without cheese....damn. As for my answer, I went the sarcastic route, which actually in a way sums me up pretty well considering I'm sarcastic the majority of the time. Whatever, I have one question for you person who gave me all these questions, and I want you to respond to this in the comment section of this blogpost: What happened to question #11?

Anyways, keep on the questions. And c'mon just reveal who you are. I mean here I am responding to your loving questions but you won't even give me a clue at who you are. Just give me some hints or clues.

Monday, September 13, 2010

It's Kool 2B in Skool

Summer is as dead as Tupac right now. Everyone is busting out their hoodies and are back in high school homerooms or in college dorms. For a solid 12 years, I dreaded the end of Autumn and the start of school. For me it meant less time to play with LEGO's, Barbies and WWF action figures and more time learning about that bastard Grover Cleaveland and how to tell time. Looking back upon it now, my 8 year old self would kill himself (myself?) if he found out that when I made it to college, I'd be excited to start school. Now I know that for some of my younger readers in grades K through 12 are balking at the fact that I said I'm glad to be back in the hood of Providence College (yeah the hood, our basketball players beat up students!), the fact remains that I am indeed pumped to be back. Now there are numerous reasons, but let's first discuss the main reason. I like to refer to it as the SWSS. The Syllabus Week Sh!tshow.

What is the Syllabus Week Sh!tshow you ask? It is the first full week of classes to start off a semester. Basically it gives the whole campus a reason to become three sheets to the wind and show up in class the next day feeling Allan, Phil and Stu in The Hangover. All you do that first week is listen to the professor talk about the syllabus and you learn about the lives of your professors. Since no one cares about their professors lives, it gives the students who had a few too many daddy soda's and brewdog's to stare out into space practice sleeping with their eyes open. Sure, occasionally you might have to stand up and say who you are, where you're from and why you're taking the class. This can be fun for creative people, because all you have to do is lie about everything besides your name. Even still, you could lie about your preferred name if you really wanted to. Honestly, how would the professor find out? Now that I think about it, next semester I'm going to try to use a different first name for each class, with a different location and a completely random reason for taking the class. Maybe in my Chemistry class I'll be Ronnie Kirwan, from Kalamazoo, Michigan and I'm taking Chemistry because I'm trying to prove that Dinosaurs never existed. Perhaps in my Social Psychology class I'll be Tuukka Kirwan, from Boise, Idaho and I'm taking Social Psychology in order to learn how to make the next social networking site like Facebook or Twitter. The possibilities are endless. College classes are nice because professors don't care about you. It's not like high school where you're stuck with the same teacher for a full school year and see him/her at least 3 times a week minimum. In college your professor remembers your name after a semester you should feel blessed. The SWSS is the one week during the semester where you have extremely little reading if any, tons of time to kill, and most importantly, checking out your new surroundings. Let's dig deeper gang.

I am starting my Junior year here in beautiful Providence, and I have moved to the complete other side of campus, which is about a football field away from where I lived last year. This being said, I now have a cozy apartment with four of my best friends, complete with a view of a somewhat busy street and a few trees. I have a stove now, which is a big upgrade, our own shower and bathroom, and now the school has trusted us Juniors to live with members of the opposite sex on the same floor! Of course, we can't even look at girls past 2 a.m. cause the bible says so or something like that, but it's a step up! I feel like a king in this new apartment, even if it does cost way too much money and is slightly overcrowded. I can now show off all the cooking skills I don't have to all the gorgeous coed's that will not be in our apartment (I'll blame Gaynor and Sean for that).

It's also lovely being reunited with people that in late April/early May I'd 'plan' on visiting over the summer but never talked to. The classic "Hey! How was your summer!" conversation happens so many times I can recite it verbatum. Picture yourself at a local PC watering hole, and you see someone you kinda sorta hang out with, probably have a few pictures together on Facebook, maybe have a class together and someone that you'll usually give the classic awkward smile and wave to when your walking around campus. The conversation will go like this, Hot Girl "Jim! Hey!" Me, "Hey." Hot Girl, "Sooo, how was your summer!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!!?" Me, "Eh it was okay. How about you." Hot Girl, "Umm yeah same I worked a lot. It flew by huh!" Me, "yeah" Hot Girl "wanna make out?" Me, "sure.". Yep. That's the classic welcome back conversation that I always get. It gets real old real quick.

Another reason why it's great to be back is because it's still warm enough for girls to wear clothing that guys like. When it gets below 50 degrees, it seems that every girl on this campus wears the classic outfit of a Northface Jacket, black leggings, and Uggs. I have no idea what they have on under the Northface. I've never seen a girl take hers off if it's under 50 degrees. Its like trying to figure out what is behind the screen in your TV, just what it looks like under what your watching. It creeps me out. Anyways, its nice right now to watch a football game and then go outside and see girls tanning on the quad still. Bros would call it "Brotastic".

I am also real excited for the work waiting for me in my classes this semester. I think it's really neat that I get to get back into the grind and enrich my mind with information that will never leave me. Doing work is good for the soul and, by golly, we should all be grateful for the opportunity to write papers on stuff we'll forget when the semester is over.

I am also a liar.

Today is still technically Monday, which means I've been here for a full week. It's bittersweet because now it means that the SWSS has come to an end. No more parties on Monday nights and fooling around Tuesday night. I now have to do work during the week and spend the weekends living like a sailor, with college parties and Miller Lites as my high seas, along with my crew of other drunken friends. This year I'm hoping to have more stories about friends to tell my grandchildren, make a couple of new friends who can get me a job in the future if I ever need it, be the best looking person wearing a Tuxedo at our Junior Ring Weekend event, and become a master chef in the art of Macaroni and Cheese due to our newly aquired stove in our apartment. In other words, I'm glad to be back. Do I occasionally miss East Providence? Sure some people. This was a good summer. I had a lot of good times with old friends and with some new friends (Cranston Girlz- you four know who you are), but nevertheless, I'm glad to be back in Friartown. Yeah baby.

As for shoutouts, congratulations to Jed "Bow and Arrows" Smith who won my wittiest status contest on facebook, you were a lock with the smash and bash tactics and then attempting to make Danny Allen blush. Also, a shoutout is in order for Sean "Sugah" Mottola for judging it and being a wonderful roommate so far, and thank you to Matt "The Body/Beowulf/The Great Dane/Gaynor The Terrible/The Delegate from Denmark" Gaynor for suggesting to write about the greatness of coming back to school. Also, I'm not quite positive about this, but if memory serves me correct, I believe the first time I heard of the term Syllabus Week Sh!tshow, it was from my dear friend and fellow Friar/East Bay resident Jenna Borkoski. So thank you Jenna for giving me a new vocab word.

Go Friars, God Bless America, and Stay Classy San Diego.