Monday, January 24, 2011

Purple Reign

Greetings from Providence friends. There's a lot of talk about some giant snowstorm on Wednesday and it's like -10 right now, so pretty much it's going to turn into that movie The Day After Tomorrow here, so this may be the last blogpost of all time. Moving on, if you all remember back to a few months ago, I along with my teammates became the first ever Providence College Quidditch champions. Obviously I was excited and was incredibly pumped to receive my championship t-shirt, which may be the most prized possession here at PC besides the legacy left behind by Ryan Gomes like 5 years ago. Anyways, we received the t-shirts today, and as I came from my Psych Lab today I was somewhat disappointed to find that they were a nice shade of purple. I just wasn't as thrilled as I thought I would be to receive my shirt, and it is definitely because the shirt is purple. Don't get me wrong, the memories of winning will never leave my mind, and my numbers as the greatest chaser in school history can speak for themselves, but I feel slighted. This leads to the question that I am posing: is purple alright?

After discussing this with my fellow teammates, "Flyin'" Ryan Urkiel said that he played Quidditch for the sake of the sport, which I had to call him out on. The majority of us did it just to win an easy t-shirt, since there was no way we were going to be see by about a hundred people running around with broomsticks between our legs playing a magical sport just for the fun of it. I don't mean to bash the sport and all, I just sorta wish they gave us a cooler color. A nice red or robin's egg blue would've been sufficient, but instead I have to look like Barney the Dinosaur in this thing. My roommate and beater Sean "Blondie" Mottola is alright with the purple, because he's a cool snowboarder, wears clothing by companies like NEFF and is the only person I know to shop at Zumiez at the Providence Place Mall, but the rest of us are just not as comfortable with the color.

Purple is just odd. When I think purple, I think of grapes, Prince, and Grimace, all of which kinda suck. It just isn't flattering on me. I look good in many things, like red tshirts, jeans, and tuxedos, but I never was one to embrace purple. I always found it to be more of a girly color, a goth color, or just way too obnoxious to look at. I'm pretty positive that when I was in middle school, no guy would ever wear purple because if he did he would either get the snot kicked out of him or he would be made fun of until tears were dropping on the ground from said preteen's tearducts. I always liked to not get picked on, so my wardrobe has never featured much purple, so having this tshirt is just kind of freaking me out. It's almost like receiving a crappy Christmas gift. You know you have to thank the person who gave it to you and pretend you're excited to receive it, but deep down you're swearing to yourself and asking what you can possibly do with this gift.

The main point here I'm trying to make is that it foils my plan. These shirts are intended to help guys pick up chicks because having one means you kicked ass at some sport. Since all the tshirts are the same besides color, you can get away with saying you won for a different sport than you really did win if you wanted to. In the back of my mind, I was planning to lie and say I was a dodgeball champion the moment I signed up to play. This of course was with the thought that I would get a primary color tshirt. Even plain white, gray or green would have worked. I would rather have yellow or orange than purple. It's a travesty to have this purple shirt in my eyes, because it foils my plan. Obviously the purple t-shirt is associated with the magical sport. I should've known we'd end up getting screwed with the shirt color. This only proves that Quidditch still doesn't get the respect it deserves. How can I pick up any girls with my championship tshirt if it's purple, then have to come clean and admit I won it for Quidditch? It probably doesn't help that I'm blogging about it, but more people haven't read this blog than people who have, so I guess I still had a shot if it were not for my tshirt being purple.

Anywho, I'm freezing here. It was something like -46 here today in Providence. I'm willing to give a shoutout in the next blog to anyone who leaves a comment that can warm me up. I highly doubt it's possible at this point in the game, but give it your best shot.


  1. Don't worry, your shirt will never be as hideous as the purple polo of Mike Perry

  2. 1) Purple is the color of royalty. You could totally tell that to any chick who gives you some sort of dubious look. Maybe imply that you're a king in bed or something, har har har.
    2) At least it's not pink. And you know what? Guys wear pink and girls don't hate them. Granted, certain guys wear pink better than other guys but whatever. The point is: purple is NOT as bad as pink.