Bfast @ Jimothy's 2010 Man of the Year Award

Greetings friends. I realize I haven't blogged in a while, mostly cause I haven't felt up to it, and I've been having creative differences with my staff. Anyways, after talking to my closest asset to the blog Danny Allen, I have decided to update the blog more often, just with shorter posts. We'll see how that works out. Anyways, onto the 1st annual Breakfast at Jimothy's Man of the Year award.

This award has strict criteria that is analyzed for a long period of time, so that the recipient is truly deserving of the award. Therefore, this year's winner is the one, the only, Bruce "Thank You O.J. Simpson for Giving My New Family Money After Killing Your Wife" Jenner. Bruce Jenner (hopefully most of you know this) is the happy go-lucky, awful hair wearing husband of Kris Kardashian, and the step father to Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian. Also, it has just been discovered that he has some Olympic gold medals or something like that. The reason for Bruce Jenner getting the nod for this award is simply that he is living the life of most men: marrying into a rich family and never having to do anything ever again.

Let's look into the average day for Mr. Jenner. He wakes up, has breakfast, plays with his model toy airplanes, has lunch, probably takes a nap, he might work out, has dinner and then goes to bed, all while being filmed. On Keeping Up With the Kardashians, all he does is average stuff. You know, he might help change a lightbulb at one of those stupid Dash stores, and he has great one liners all throughout the show. Sure, it might suck that he has to constantly be around Miss Piggy, I mean Kourtney Kardashian, but now he even gets to hang out with Lamar Odom. This guarantees him Lakers tickets whenever he wants, and he gets to hang out with a URI alum (sort of, I guess). Sure, it might also suck that all his money goes to his wife Kris, since she's a controlling freak and made of pure evil, but at least he doesn't have to worry about paying any bills. No matter what Bruce does he doesn't have to worry about anything. Myself and my roommates this past year might have watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians more than any other show on television (Man Vs. Food and Californication being the only shows remotely close to it), and most people may be confused as to why, but if you ask Myself, Gaynor, Urk, Sean or Matt, I'm pretty confident the reason any of us would give to support our watching the show is Bruce Jenner. Men should take notes and strive to have the life that Bruce Jenner does. If I can make my golden years consisting of one-liners, having bad hair days seven days a week, and becoming rich by getting filmed doing nothing, I'd be pretty happy.

Bruce also has to be appreciated for putting his foot down and sticking up for himself against Kris Kardashian. That woman would have tea with Satan if she felt she could lock up a business deal for Kim if she could. Bruce repeatedly stood up for himself if he didn't want to do something, but he knew his limits. When Kris demanded his presence in New York for the 4th of July to party with Miles Austin and Lamar Odom on a Cruise, he said he would rather be patriotic in his own way, which consisted of getting his ears pierced and a haircut with his stepson Rob, not to mention going to the club with him. Bruce also repeatedly told Kris that he didn't want to go out like a teenager to clubs and would rather be in bed by 9 o'clock on a Saturday night, just because he wants to. Although it sounds lame, you have to respect the man for finding ways to get his own way. So Bruce, I salute you for that. Okay, now I'm out of examples of Bruce sticking up for himself, but having those two examples against Kris Kardashian is good enough for any man.

Now this award isn't just because Bruce is living the good life, but also because he is a leader and a mentor. There are rumors that he also moonlights as a motivational speaker (I'd be one too if I were living his life) but he also mentors that douchebag Scott Disick. Scott is like Bruce in the sense that he wants to marry rich into the Kardashian family, but he is just the drunk clubrat baby daddy that no one likes. As much as Bruce seems to hate him, he bites the bullet for the sake of mankind and attempts to mentor him by taking him go-kart riding and doing stuff that only rich people can do together. It may not be working just yet, but one episode saw Scott thank Bruce by giving him a custom made suit, so it wasn't totally a waste. It takes a bold man to help mentor one of America's biggest pricks, and even if it wasn't successful, at least he got a new suit out of it.

It is safe to say that in 2010, Bruce Jenner gave hope to men who have gotten plastic surgery. He has given hope to men with awful, horrible hair. He inspired millions to live his life. He made toy airplanes cool. He once posed for PlayGirl Magazine. He gives hope to all men to marry rich and live comfortably, even if your wife controls all your funds.