Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Easter? I Don't Even Know Her!

Going to a Catholic college has been an interesting experience thus far. Growing up a public school kid, I learned early on to hate all Catholic school kids, especially from St. Margaret's. They were always the stuckup kids of the neighborhood and having them all together in one school just seemed evil to us public school kids. I always swore when I was younger that I would rather die in a firey inferno then go to a Catholic school. It was about a month after I applied to Providence College that I realized that PC was a Catholic college, which amazes me for a few reasons. First off, I realized how sad it was that I didn't know my number one choice school was Catholic, I guess I just focused on it being close to home so my Mom can still do my laundry. Secondly, I realized how sad it was that our mascot is a Friar and I still didn't realize that it was a Catholic school. It's a little different than going to a public school, it sort of sucks because here we have parietals, which means that we can't have members of the opposite sex in our dorms after a certain time, i.e. this place hates to have fun. Also, during Lent the school serves no meat whatsoever, so even if we are tempted by Satan to have a ham sandwich or chicken cordon bleu, we can't.

There are some good things about growing up as a public school kid and now going to a Catholic college. An example is listening to my Catholic high school friends (I know, I would've hated myself for hanging out with these kids when I was 9, but it seems that 92% of the kids here went to Catholic school) talk about how pathetic their high school experience was because no chicks were in their classes and hallways for them to stare at. Looking back on it, if I didn't have girls to stare at in high school I probably would have dropped out of school and made this blog a lot sooner than this past summer. The other good thing about going to a Catholic college is we get a 5 day Easter break. Now if you remember my Spring Break blog, I was home by myself basically and was bored to tears, so since all my other friends go to URI, I was by myself again until Saturday. It was during this time that I pondered a lot about life, and there was one thing I realized that just doesn't make sense: Easter.

There are many things that I look at that don't make sense, such as how Jake Gyllenhall had an acting career after starring in Bubble Boy, how I will benefit from Trigonometry when I'm older, how Amy Winehouse is still alive, why Disco isn't popular anymore, why Jersey Shore isn't being filmed at the Jersey Shore next season, how Snoopy walks on two feet/paws instead of four, Hot Tub Time Machine, how I made it back to my dorm two Saturday's ago (just kidding Mom!), how the White Stripes are related, and how Fox could ever cancel 24. Among these odd things that don't make sense, Easter surpasses all of them for various reasons. Let's begin:

Rabbits and Eggs: So let me get this straight. In order to celebrate Jesus Christ becoming a Zombie for a couple of days, we are going to symbolize this as a bunny who delivers eggs....eggs from chickens, to children in baskets. The amount of things wrong with this picture is unbelievable. First off, where did the Easter Bunny get the eggs? A local market? Did he/she steal them from vulnerable chickens? Were they provided by the Russians? The possibilities here are endless, but if you think about it, not many people question why I bunny is delivering chicken eggs. We turn a blind eye to the fact that the Easter Bunny is not giving us Bunny eggs. Secondly, what does this have to do with the second coming of Christ? I know: nothing. Thirdly, how does the Easter Bunny carry baskets? This is starting to get out of control the more I think about it. I mean Santa Clause was a stretch but he's looking like the real deal when compared to the Easter Bunny.

Chocolate: The amount of chocolate consumed/given on Easter is sickening. Delivered by this fraud Easter Bunny, chocolate is now a staple of Easter, meaning chocolate is now a staple of Jesus' comeback, which just doesn't make sense. It almost makes me wonder what would be eaten by people if I came back from the dead. I'd have to say Coke and Macaroni & Cheese, but that's just me. Chocolate just seems so sinful because it's not that great for you and is bad for your skin if your in high school.

Egg Hunts: I already went over how dumb it is that eggs are a symbol of Easter, but egg hunts are different. Egg hunts are dumb because you are challenging someone to find the most eggs scattered around a house or yard. Obviously you want to take it seriously, because you can't lose to your kid sister again for the third year in a row, and it is bittersweet when you win, because it's great and all that you found the most eggs, but then again, you actually spent time out of your life to scour your house for eggs and took it seriously, which is sad. That being said, I want to announce that I beat my two cousins Liam and Mikey in the Kirwan Easter Egg Hunt at my grandmother's house on Sunday. Does it matter that Liam is 2 and Mikey is 3 years old? No. All that matters is I won. I just don't get why this has to only be done on Easter. What's wrong with sneaking onto a farm and having an Easter Egg Hunt with your friends there? The eggs may be too easy to find, but it's possible to do.

I'm going to be honest, I can't think of anything else that doesn't make sense of Easter, but probably cause it's just too obvious. Because of this, I'll tell you about the rest of my 5 day break. Wednesday night Ryan Urkiel and Sean Mottola begged to stay at my house for the night because I guess we had too much rain and they were scared to take a train home, so I took them to Thayer Street and just Bro-chilled. Thursday I did nothing. Friday I did nothing and watched a movie with some friends. Saturday I went to an Ivy League lacrosse tournament at Gillette Stadium, which was awesome because of all the Lax Bros I witnessed and all the beautiful looking Lacrosstitues cheering on their favorite Brainiac Lacrosse teams. Sunday I won an Easter Egg Hunt against two toddlers. Yep. I know what you're thinking, it was a productive 5 days. At least I thought of a blog topic.

Forever yours and forever young,

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