Wednesday, May 12, 2010

What The Hell? Part II

Alright so if you remember back in January, some weirdo asked me a series of questions that sort of spooked me out. Because I can never turn down a fan(?), I answered the questions as best as I could. I'll admit I thought this was a one time thing. I was wrong. This person left this comment last night on the blog about Civ. Everything he/she said and asks will be in italics, and I will again answer these questions to the best of my ability.

Hello Jimothy, it is I again. I will be the first to tell you that you responded very well to my questions in the comment I posted back in January. I've decided it's been long enough so I'm giving you some more questions to tackle. I'm still going to remain anonymous just because it probably bothers you not knowing who it is. Shall we begin?

What color is your room painted?
Red, the same color as blood.

Have you ever called the number 867-5309 and ask for Jenny?
I have called it, unfortunately instead of Jenny I got GEM Plumbing. When I asked for Jenny they told me I wasn't funny and hung up.

If you could go back into any decade and have any job what would it be?
Good question, I'd go back to the 1960's and become an International Man of Mystery.

What are your thoughts on the fact that the PC basketball team likes to beat up their fans?
They were just taking out their frustrations on a guy because they realized they sucked and had no future in basketball. I'm not sure what would be more painful, getting my ass kicked by two basketball players or watching another season like they had last year.

If I’m looking for hot girls, where should I go on vacation this summer?
I've heard women in Chicago and Fairbanks, Alaska are lovely this time of year. St. Paul, Minnesota is another hot spot in the summer time. Just stay away from Orlando.

What are your thoughts on giving me a chance to write one blogpost for you?
Well, considering this is the second blog where I'm giving you all the attention by answering your questions, I'd say slim to none unless you want to count these as your one blogpost.

Would you rather be a penguin or a panda bear?
Penguin so I can play with Evgeni Malkin and Sergei Gonchar. I would also have an opportunity to bitch slap Sidney Crosby. I've always dreamed of being on a powerplay with Jordan Staal also.

Has anyone ever stolen your bike?
No, unfortunately, no one has ever stolen my bike.

Why don’t you have a Twitter?
I do have a Twitter. JimKirwan26. Why don't you do your research?

In your opinion, is there any hope that Pokemon will ever get back to being popular?
No. They ruined it when they started making new Pokemon. I do miss my grandfather calling Pokemon "PokeMAN" when it was popular though.

Are all of the obscene comments on the majority of your blogposts from the same person? And do you know who it is?
Yeah, I'm gonna say 97% of them are by Tom "Jean Jacket JOM" Silva. Mainly because he's told me that's he done most of them, and he really doesn't have anything better to do at UMASS Dartmouth.

What’s your real name?
James Louis Michael Kirwan III, but you can call me Junior.

I need a good book to read, any ideas?
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell was pretty entertaining. I also recently read "Go Dog Go" by Dr. Suess and "Your Dog Plays Hockey Charlie Brown?" by Charles M. Schultz. They are all pretty similar books, so I'd give any of those a shot. To kill time, I'd go with Where's Waldo?

If all cartoon character animals were to have a brawl, who would win?
What is wrong with you? I don't even want to answer this question, but I'll just go with the Carpet from Aladdin. I don't care if it's not an animal, it would win.

What time is it?
4:22, do you know where your children are?

Will there be a sequel to Titanic?
Yeah I read something that Jack Dawson actually didn't freeze to death and drown. I guess he's going to track down Rose in current time and reunite with her. They're also going to plot revenge against the iceberg and hire an assassin to melt it.

Last time I asked you to give me a good nickname and you came up with “Lefty”, that doesn’t work because I’m right handed, so can I have a new nickname?

Who is the most famous person to read your blog?
My grandmother read the blog. She got really upset that I told the world how awful the Christmas Shoes song is. She was so mad she called me a sack of sh!t on Mother's day! Other than my grandmother, I'd say Carson Daly or Megan Fox.

If you could vote for any 4 presidents, who would they be?
Woodrow "Big Woody" Wilson, David Palmer, Bill Clinton and Rutherford B. Hayes.

Why don’t you have a girlfriend?
Because I have a blog called Breakfast at Jimothy's.

If you could have any band play at your wedding, who would it be?
I'm the charming romantic type, so I'd go with Nirvana. If they're busy, I'll settle for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Hawthorne Heights, Eddie Money or Justin Timberlake.

Would you rather take another year of western civ or listen to the Christmas Shoes song on repeat for a full week, nonstop?
Neither, I'd rather slice my throat. Next question.

If you had to be a member of a mob or a tribe, what would it be?
I'd rather be a member of a posse or a conglomerate to be honest.

Has your blog ever gotten you anything for free?
Yes, compliments and admiration. Along with people telling me that they love the blog and find it funny. Besides that, nothing.

You’re in college, what is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
I'm a big fan of Kool-Aid.

What would you sell to see the Bruins win a Stanley Cup?
The naming rights to my first child, one of my livers, and a shoutout in the blog.

I hate you.
The feelings are so incredibly mutual you don't even know. By the way, that's not a question.

How many proms have you gone to?

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on one purchase?
I once bought myself a large buffalo chicken pizza from Golden Crust for like 14 bucks. I think that's it.

Are you a good dancer?
Actually yes. I'm not that bad of a dancer to be honest.

Will you be the godfather of my first child?

Should I stay away from Times Square due to recent bomb scares?
No you'll be fine. Just stay away from Madison Square Garden the day Lebron James signs with a team not called the Knicks.

What will you do if I reveal myself to you in person?
I ask myself the same question every day. I have no idea.

Have a nice day.

Yeah, I'll have a nice day. As for shoutouts go, thank you to Meg Fox and Jamie Sharot for being wonderful wingwomen for me, I owe you big time. Also, to Christina D'Angelo, Gilly Imse, Samantha and Olivia Lovegreen for convincing me to go out with them and stay an extra night Saturday night. If I forgot anyone I promised a shoutout to, I'm sorry, I'll get you next time just remind me. I'm still at a loss for words at the questions I just answered.

Forever yours,


  1. I'm pretty pumped about Hawthorne Heights being played at our wedding.

    and I'm purposely leaving this as anonymous so if you don't guess it right the first time you're gonna be denied sex for the rest of your life.. :/

  2. that goofy lookin' face of his denies him sex for the rest of his life!!!