Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Don't Fear The Reaper

Welp, thus far I’ve spent a whole day here in Cape Cod, and already someone famous has died. Good ol’ Eunice Kennedy just died in a Hyannis Hospital which I can actually see from my hotel room deck. Arnold Schwarzenegger (I actually just spelled that correctly on my first try) is in town to see his mother in law, or JFK’s sister, whichever you prefer, one last time. This seems to be a growing trend on vacations for me, as I was in Chicago when Bernie Mac died a few blocks away, and the next day Isaac Hayes, better known as Chef from South Park died. It’s a trend that I’ve gotten accustomed to, and I guess famous people need to get used to also. I’ve never really been the luckiest kid in the world, after all, my sister claims that I once dumped a girl who looked like this for a girl who looked like this, but now I’m starting to think that I’m a A-lister Grim Reaper. I can recall being in Maine on vacation in April 1994 when Kurt Cobain died AND I was on Christmas vacation from school when the Dunkin’ Donuts guy in the commercials died on Christmas Eve. Its mind blowing that whenever I’m on some sort of vacation, people die.

Now maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised about Eunice dying just down the street, this summer has been so depressing due to celebrity deaths. I mean look at all the famous people that died so far, the greatest mascot of all time, the director of some pretty decent movies and this scene in particular, Jermaine Jackson’s brother, the only woman I know named Farrah, Bill from Kill Bill (who apparently was killed?), and Hugh Heffner. Okay maybe not Heff yet, but he’s my bet for the next celeb to pass on to the great big Hollywood in the sky.

Did I mention I’ve had Don’t Fear (The Reaper) stuck in my head for the past 24 hours? Just throwing that out there.
Now don’t worry about little ol’ me, my vacation is doing fine besides the constant reminders of death. Just yesterday I bought a poster of the new Quentin Tarantino movie “Inglorious Bastards” which will basically consist of killing Nazis. Okay so yeah maybe that has to do with death also, but at least it’s fake and has Brad Pitt and Ryan from The Office in it.

These constant reminders of death and vacation are getting annoying and weird. Anyways I have had some good vacations where celebrities were alive and well, such as the same day Bernie Mac died I met numerous people, such as Dustin Pedroia crossing the street, Jason Bay wheeling his kids in a stroller, and Justin Masterson who was very happy to pose for pictures(as seen to the right). I also got the cold shoulder from Jacoby Ellsbury (as seen to the left) and was told by Terry Francona to “F%@k off kid, it’s the off day”. Okay now that I think about it, maybe famous people hate me. Maybe Bernie Mac decided to get pneumonia and die because I came to Chicago . Maybe Eunice Kennedy wanted to join Johnny Boy Kennedy because I moved into the hotel room next door to her hospital and Arnold couldn’t “terminate” me because it’s not a movie. Maybe I should just give up on meeting celebrities cause they’re dropping like flies when I come around.

So my next post, to commemorate my 5th blog post, will be written by my very close friend Danny Allen (as seen on the left in the picture to the left). He’s a goodhearted young man who some may call a Stoic, or just depressed. I disagree about the Stoic part, but I do think he might be somewhat depressed, but aren’t we all? Maybe I’m just speaking for myself, I mean after all I am the kid who dumped a girl looking like this for a girl who looks like this. Anyways, Danny is quite witty and sarcastic which hopefully will gain me some more followers and page views. My goal is to hit a million page views before I kick the bucket, so I guess I have some time to accomplish this.

I’ve also decided to send all you readers with a cheery lyric from the song of my choosing at the end of each post. Today’s cheery lyric comes from the Taking Back Sunday song “You’re So Last Summer”, and it goes like this: “Unless I had to I’ll do what I got to, the truth; Is you could slit my throat; And with my one last gasping breath; I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt”. Alright maybe not so cheery, but with all this death talk can anyone be cheery? If anyone wants to donate a cheery lyric of the day, leave a comment on this or email me at jimmykir8@yahoo.com or give me the idea through mental telepathy.

Oh and my mother just walked in the room and told us how she was just interviewed by two TV stations about what the Kennedys meant to her, and some local newspaper. What a wonderful life. My mother gets famous while on vacation, and I blame myself for the deaths of numerous celebs around the world. Good grief. I actually should hope to never meet the real girl who looks like this because I’m really looking forward to seeing her in Transformers 3.

Welp, see ya later.


  1. The dunkin donuts guy was the shit. And I'm still laughing at the Charlie Brown clip.


  2. you said the next one would be about me. liar. minus a point

    -you know who, bitch

  3. you're a genius
    -a fan

  4. your geniosity never ceases to amaze me.

    -excuse me...you know what my name is

  5. no one fucking cares