Taylor Swift and Sorority Girls: A Study

Taylor Swift puzzles me.  I don't get it.  I am easily annoyed by her and her dozens of famous boyfriends.  The more famous she gets, the more perplexed I become over why she is as popular as she is.  It is a craze that seems to never, ever, eve....dammit, nevermind.  Now, I will admit that my freshmen year at college, I was one who would get involved in the sing a long of 'Love Story' at Danny's Place almost every Friday and Saturday night, so I'll admit that right off the bat before I take heat for it.  Anyways, this T-Swift craze has grown to epic proportions recently.  It has kept me up at nights, and a few months ago, I decided to end this madness and ask a fan of hers to explain to me the Swiftamania that has been sweeping the country for the past few years. I needed to get answers from a person who could represent a particular group of her fanbase: sorority girls.  After choosing my fanbase, the new problem was who to choose.  While thinking about sorority girls, one person came to mind: my arch nemesis on Twitter, Tori Parella.  Why her, you ask?  Well, mostly because I don't know all that many sorority girls.  Secondly, as much as she aggravates me on Twitter, she is sometimes funny, so I have to give her credit where credit is due.  Tori is going into her junior year at Clemson, which I'm told is in South Carolina (who knew?) and is a sorority member.  I also chose her to do this blog because I figured she would be as punctual as her sister Katie was when she gladly took my Catholic School Girls questionnaire a few years ago.  Long story short, I sent her this questionnaire a solid 2 months ago and just got it back last week, making her nothing like Katie.  To put this frustratingly long wait into perspective: I am interviewing an EDM group later this month, who got back to me and set things up with me for the interview through Twitter after about a day or two of talking.  Way to look like a diva with poor time management, Tori.  Without further ado, this is how sorority girls view Taylor Swift. 

1. Can you describe the relationship between Taylor Swift and her millions of fans around the country?

Like Brangelina, minus the slew of adopted children from Africa.

2. It is often said that Taylor Swift just writes the same songs about ex-boyfriends.  Do you find this to be true or is this rumor complete rubbish?   

Yes, it’s true she writes about ex-boyfriends but they’re completely different. Each song tells a totally different story. For example, in Dear John, she talks about how John Mayer was an old creepy doucher and possibly took her virginity, where as “Back to December” talks about her brief period as a cougar when she broke Taylor Lautners heart. Also some aren’t about ex-boyfriends. “Innocent” is about how Kanye West ("Wait, wait wait not to interrupt or anything but what the hell is going on with Amanda Bynes lately?"…but yeah anyways Kanye is a doucher too. And she calls him out. But they didn't date. And last (but not least) she writes songs like “Better than Revenge” and “Picture To Burn” for us girls to jam to. I mean come on whenever a T.Swift song comes on at the bar you get screaming girls flying out of the bathroom, hoping off bar stools heading straight for the dance floor.

3. If you could choose one person for Taylor Swift to write a song about, who would it be and why?

Jim Kirwan.

4. How do you feel about the now infamous youtube video of T.Swift’s Trouble mashed up with a screaming Goat?  Can we expect a song in the future in response to the Goat ruining her song? 

I found the video humorous and I think T. Swift could also. I bet she has a sense of humor and could laugh along with it…I mean who couldn’t that was damn hilarious. But…I also think she could easily pen a response to the farm animals, sure. To show all the haters, her next video will possibly take place in petting zoo, maybe with a sexy zoo keeper, possibly played by Ryan Gosling, then they can date and he can be the subject of her next hit album- killing two birds with one stone.

5.  Do you think Taylor Swift is kind of awkwardly tall?  I think she’s awkwardly tall.  When I see her I tend to think of giraffes. 

No. Sounds like a personal problem.

6. In Taylor Swift’s recent smash hit single Trouble, it seems that Swift tried to dabble with some EDM.  Do you think she sold out here or used this as a new creative approach to her songs?  To me, it sorta seemed like a rather mainstream move.  It seems like she’s trying to headline EDC or next year’s Ultra Music Festival.

She definitely tried to appeal to the fanny pack wearing, molly- poppin crowd, yes, but hey it scored her another hit single so it just shows that she’s versatile. And that everybody regardless of genre loves to call out a douchebag.

7. If you were courting a gentleman and found out he was a huge Taylor Swift fan, would you be creeped out or find it as a turn on?  I’m hoping you go with creeped out on this one.

turn on

8. You and I have had some arguments on twitter regarding Taylor ‘The Awkward Giraffe’ Swift vs. Carly Rae ‘The Voice of Our Generation’ Jepson.  In my defense of ‘Call Me Maybe’, you once told me that I was  

T. Swift writes songs that actually tell a story and speak to the heart. White Horse? Tear jerker. Tim McGraw? Don’t even get me started. Last Kiss? UGHHHHH!!!! But Call Me Maybe? A. Doesn't really make sense- who has wells these days? B. Is teaching our generation to be far too aggressive and weirdly harass people they just met and C. Call Me Maybe came out about a year ago now…where’s Carly Rae? …probably in her one room apartment looking at the Harvard baseball teams ‘van dance’ to her song crying because they have more views then her actual music video.

9. During my senior year at Providence College, some girls created a fake sorority called Delta Nu (my sister tells me that this is from Legally Blonde?).  As a true sorority girl, can you please give your thoughts on this matter?  Also, if you could associate one beverage with sororities, what would it be?

I not only approve of any greek organization, but as social chair of my sorority I would love to maybe plan a mixer with the sexy bitches of delta nu, especially as an elle woods fan myself. Im thinking a golf bros and tennis hoes theme with sigma nu or sigma chi?
If I could associate one beverage with sororities, it would be vodka. Or diet coke. Or both.
Both.

10. Lastly, when I think of Taylor Swift, I think of a goody-two shoes who writes the same songs over and over who sucked on Saturday Night Live and just really needs to get laid and/or have a drink.  What comes to mind for you when you think of Taylor Swift?

Well you’re obviously going to think she writes the same songs over and over again because you’re a guy and you just don’t understand. And actually Taylor isn’t this goody-two shoes that you think she is. If you listen to “Better Than Revenge” closely, she says the word ‘whore’ in the background- ain’t nothing goody two shoes about that! When I think of Taylor Swift, I think of a hot skinny blonde betch who’s sweet as sugar but also has no problem showing up to red carpet event after just calling out the hottest bros in the game from Connor Kennedy to John Mayer, You have to give her credit the girl has guts and that’s what we love about her. She has three chart topping records full of songs you can’t help but love and replay over and over again. ANNNNND she writes them herself. Gotta give her some props- she runs the game.

Special shout out to EP’s Marian Long

Thank you Tori for filling out this questionnaire with your words of wisdom.  I am even more confused than ever about Swiftamania. I'll admit that if Taylor Swift ever writes a song about me, I'll have to thank you for suggesting my name.