A Well Oiled MaSheen

Everyone's been talking about Charlie Sheen lately. It may have something to do with all the coke, booze, prostitutes and porn stars he's been surrounded around lately, but that's just a hunch. Everybody is saying what a trainwreck he is and how he's gonna be dead any day now and this and that, but after watching the 20/20 on him tonight on ABC, I realized a few things about Charlie.

First of all, he is winning. I like this whole circus around his life, because it seems that for once, a celebrity is controlling the media and he's totally kicking the shit out of them. I have always despised papparazzi. I think it's pathetic that these lowlifes spend all their time watching other people they don't even really know go grocery shopping and making up stories about them to make money. It's been going on for years and sure everyone listens and pays attention to it, but now, here comes our knight in shining armor. To be completely honest with everyone, it is apparent that Charlie Sheen simply could not care less about what people think of him, which is key in this battle against the media. He is going around saying what he wants and does whatever he does, while giving a Cee-lo Green worthy F you to anyone who is trying to talk about him. If you watched the 20/20 tonight with him, that reporter had no chance. She tried asking her questions, and everyone could tell she was being judgmental and I think she thought she was going to get Sheen to feel bad about what has been going on. She got her ass kicked. Sheen took over the interview, screwed around the whole time, but all while giving answers for every question. He dropped so many pearls of wisdom in that one hour special he could've made a necklace out of it. "They say it's lonely at the top, but I'm loving the view!", "I only have one speed, GO!". One of my favorite comebacks of all time was when that reporter asked him if he was bipolar and he immediately said "The earth is bi-polar." Indeed it is Charlie. Who else would have thought of that so on the spot in regard to being called bi-polar? Charlie Sheen can.

I almost feel like Charlie Sheen is the combination of Chuck Norris and Hugh Hefner. I mean the comparison with Hef is too easy, with all these parties at his mansion and a constant revolving door of porn stars, along with two current girlfriends who he refers to as "goddesses". He even referred to himself as a drug. The comparison to Chuck Norris is simply because it seems that he can survive anything and do anything. He is unstoppable right now. He is fearless. He even said it tonight "Dying is for fools." Take that grim reaper. I'm willing to bet that like Hef, Charlie Sheen will make it to his late 80's and amaze the world. If he's survived this past month, he's capable of anything in my eyes. I also like the fact that he is keeping a positive mental attitude and is still calling himself a winner. I don't know about you kids, but growing up I was always taught to be a winner, I just never quite embraced it as much as Charlie has.

Among other things, there is the topic of cancelling Two & A Half Men, which would suck. My dad is a big fan of the show, and I'd watch it with him occassionaly over the summer, and I will say that it is pretty funny. Not my most favorite show on air but I like it. The fact that the reruns being aired are still getting higher ratings than ANYTHING else on TV (is there really much competition though?) is mind blowing. This would mean that one man could take down one of the most viewed television shows of all time just because he is doing what he wants to do and saying what he wants to say. How many other people could singlehandedly take down something so powerful? Sure maybe Cobain might've ruined Nirvana when he blew his brains out, and LeBron may have ruined the whole city of Cleveland, but to take down a show that is earning millions upon millions of dollars and still consider himself winning is just nuts. Then he even says that he's willing to man up and keep doing the show if the producer agrees to just hate each other but do their jobs and get the show rolling again. It all sort of makes sense when you think of it.

Now I'm not saying that I'm approving the use of drugs, prostitutes, having two girlfriends, or getting divorced three times, but Charlie Sheen is actually doing some good. It's refreshing for someone to stand up for whatever he's talking about and just playing around with the media, so in that regard, I'm taking his side. He is indeed winning. The media is just going to try to hang him out to dry and try to disgrace him, but I feel like people will just think positive of him for sticking up to them. I've never liked Charlie Sheen more than after the past few days. He's a legend. The media will not be Charlie Sheen, and that is final. The guy likes to party, leave him alone. He's making a mocking of stupid sites like TMZ and it's hilarious. After watching that 20/20 I realized that that was the most I've ever spent watching ABC for a non-sporting event and the most I've laughed in a long time. He may not be mentally sane, and yeah his life may be a little bit crazy, but I am on Team Sheen. Also, his twitter is blowing up, in just one day tweeting 5 pretty awesome things and surpassing 500,000+ followers already. Oh yeah, it's also pretty cool that Major League III is gonna happen. One last thought on this matter, I wonder how Emilio "Coach Gordon Bombay" Estevez feels about this. He's been down to earth and normal, but he's still the brother no one cares about.

In conclusion, shoutout to Diana Baumgardt for making me realize that this is a perfect blog opportunity, and happy birthday. Also, I would like to thank people for the tremendous feedback I'm getting on my haircut. I hated to part with my long, curlish locks but it was time. I've heard great comments, saying that I'm more handsome, more suave, and that I look cleaner, which makes me sort of wonder what my "friends" really thought of me before the haircut, but I'll take it. Also, what I can't figure out is why so many people are asking me if I got a haircut. Are you blind? I forgot I had ears because I hadn't seen them in so long, I hadn't gotten a haircut since November, and now that it's extremely short you're really going to ask me if I got a haircut? It couldn't be more obvious in my opinion, but hey, as long as the crowds are pleased and girls start to look at me.

Always winning,

Jimothy