Not Very Cool(ey) Of You!

Well cut off my legs and call me Shorty! Today was not the greatest day for fans of the recently underwhelming Providence College Friars. The Friar Faithful all took a shot to the nether regions when our worst nightmare of coach Ed Cooley leaving became true. Not only that, but leaving to take the helm of fellow Big East member/rival Georgetown. Basically, Ed Cooley is Tom Sandoval, Friar fans are Ariana, and Georgetown is Raquel. I guess this makes me James Kennedy because here I am about to rant and rave like a lunatic but hey whatever works. 

What the shit gives, Ed?

I’m going to get all the praise out of the way to get it out of my system. Coach Cooley was good for PC. When he took over for that dolt Keno Davis, it was a sort of dark ages for PC Hoops. Cooley came in and turned it around relatively quick. It’s hard to complain when they won a Big East tournament title, a Big East regular season title, multiple trips to March Madness, making the transfer portal his bitch, and overall building PC into a team that was no longer a joke. For that, I thank you! It was a hell of a run. It was nice to no longer be a laughingstock, basement dweller charter member of the Big East. As I write this, I’m kind of feeling slightly bad about ripping a guy who did all this…but then I quickly remember how the last month of the season went, and all the questionable at best nonsense that has come out in the last few days. 

I don’t really feel too bad anymore.

As it turns out, Cooley put his house in East Greenwich up for sale 3ish weeks ago, which coincides perfectly with the slump that began for the Friars. The team definitely found out and gave up all hope, and who can blame them? Why bust your ass and play hard for a guy who already made up his mind to sell out and go to a rival school before the season is even over? For someone who always prided himself on professionalism, stepping up and doing the right thing, this is how you are going to leave PC? Take care of business, except when that new job offer is waiting for you. You owed it to this fan base and the kids you recruited to at least give it your all for the rest of this year. This was not a lost season up until 3 weeks ago. This team could have made a run in March Madness but it all went to hell, and it’s a shame. As for the future, it’s also a damn shame that you’re ripping apart this program that you built up. Kids are de-committing already, and apparently some kid from TCU agreed to transfer to Georgetown amazingly quick after the news broke. I know there was a follow up report that it’s not true and the kid hasn’t actually decided, but we all know you brokered that shit to get him to Georgetown while you were still under contract at PC, and that’s shady as hell. That interview you did was bizarre and no one believes a word that you say. “This was my dream job”. “It’s not about the money.” Yeah okay. Do you think we are stupid? Not one fan thinks that Georgetown asked you what you wanted and you did you best Dr. Evil impression and said ‘I want Six MILLIONNN DOLLARS!’ And Georgetown was just like oh okay yeah sure. 

We all know you looked up to Georgetown (…and PC) legend John Thompson. I know you’ve mentioned how big of an influence he was and how you wanted to lead a program like him. That’s all well and good Buddy but why couldn’t you have done it here, where you already had something built? Just because you want to be like John Thompson doesn’t mean you have to do it at Georgetown itself. You could’ve had it all here in Providence. You had the path to carve out a nice long career here. You’ll could’ve had a statue out on the Aquinas quad. You could’ve gotten your own line of local pasta or Marinara sauce like Rick Pitino and Buddy Cianci did. There could very well have been a Cooley Center built on Eaton Street. But now? Now you’re just like the rest of them. Pitino, Barnes, and all the rest who simply used PC as a stepping stone. Unlike the others, you were the one to be all proud to be a son of Providence. Coming home to a ‘dream job’ who took great care of you. How many raises did you get from PC? You had it all here and now you’ve taken everything you built up just to go to a rival in the same damn conference. Fans would have been much more understandable had it been a job with Duke or UNC or something like that. Not a program that Patrick Ewing left in a worse state than his own knees. 

You want to be John Thompson? Best of luck to ya! You’re chasing a legacy that you simply won’t match at Gtown, with a very tall shadow lurking that you won’t be able to escape. I think Thompson himself would be questioning why you’re giving all this up. 

The state of Rhode Island has a bit of a Napoleonic Complex. Do not cross us! This place is small but mighty! It’s not all sunshine and Del’s lemonade stands. I cannot wait until the day comes that you come back to the Dunk (Dunk not AMP. I refuse to acknowledge it as the AMP). That place is going to be buzzing. Joe DiMaggio said ‘they can boo as loud as they can cheer’, and you know how loud the Dunk could get during the glory days before you turned your back on everyone. 

I have to laugh now thinking of that line you always had about the Friars that looked nice on t-shirts:

Us, We, Together, Family, Friars. 

Bull. Shit. See you at the Dunk. 

Dear Friary...

Holy shit, you guys.

The Providence College Friars are still dancing in the Sweet 16. What a time to be alive! After a season of Ed Cooley telling us all to be them dudes, it is officially time to, in fact, be them dudes. While the first ever Big East regular season championship banner in school history will look nice up in the rafters at the Dunk, I think we should add some more decorations and keep updating some of those other banners. Why stop at Sweet 16? Let's keep the ball rolling! 

This season has been a lot of fun for a ton of reasons. The fans/students have been electric and fueled by Bud Light tallboys. I made it to 3 games this year, each one being more electric than the last, with the cherry on top being in attendance for all those hooligans storm the court as we beat up on Creighton to clinch the BE title. The City of Providence needed this. Things just hadn't been the same since Buddy Cianci croaked, and suddenly the sun seems to shine a bit brighter. I mean, yeah it sucked that the beer lines were way longer than I ever remembered back in my days at PC, but it's worth it! Well, the $12.75 beers may not actually be worth it..but you know what I mean.

I was an undergrad from 2008-2012 toiling away at a Psych degree that I will never use. My time at PC had it's up and downs. Yes, up and downs. The up? PC beating number 1 ranked Pitt. Still a top 5 night of my life. I thought Eaton Street was going to go up in flames. There I was, drinking pitchers of beer at a bar I used my fake ID to get into, feeling on top of the world, proud like I had accomplished something. After that? I don't know. Couple nice wins here and there. God Keno Davis sucked ass. The only Keno that should ever matter is the type you play at a dive bar. Let's see, what else did we have to celebrate from my era? Hmm. Ooh! There was the time MarShon Brooks dropped 50 against Notre Dame! ...in an overtime loss. Okay, there's more....aha! Eureka! I was there when Jeff Xavier's brother walked out onto the court to talk some sense into that ref! Now THAT was a good time. I guess PC hoops wasn't really too memorable out of one night that sure has some memories that are fuzzy. I digress.

Shoutout Aquinas 209!

This team loves to feed off of the hate, and boy have their plates been full! For me personally, it makes me cringe when I hear local radio discuss them. 98.5 the Sports Hub is usually on at my work. They discussed the Friars for the first time about 2 weeks ago, where Rich of T and R just decides to shit on Rhode Island as if there is some big feud between RI and Massachusetts. He seriously thinks everyone here is a hick who have bricks for brains are living in 1993. For a guy who grew up in Georgia, this is pretty funny. Why he thinks he has to be such a prick to Rhode Island is something I'll never understand. Then there is Joe Murray, member of the Bankroll Boyz podcast or some shit like that. He fills in here and there. Joe Murray made the super bold call of PC losing in round 1 to South Dakota State and that it was virtually a no brainer. If he thinks that was a unique bet, he's an idiot cause a whoooooole lot of people had money riding on the SD State Jackasses. So of course, he gets a ton of backlash from PC fans, with some even calling him an illiterate calzone, and he now decides to strike back by calling PC fans...sensitive? Sensitive? For a guy who lives and breathes making "hot sports takes" maybe you're being the sensitive one. Your station didn't talk about Providence College hoops all season long and when you do it's just "Meh. These guys blow. They're losing first round." What a joke. Of course people are going to come after you for being such a dick. Rhode Island has a Napoleonic Complex type of situation to it. Smallest state, proudest state. Don't you dare crack wise on Rhode Island. The only people who are allowed to bitch and moan about Rhode Island is Rhode Islanders plain and simple. In the south, when someone thinks you've said something dumb, people will say "Bless your heart" and then say something very insulting about your intelligence. Here in the Ocean State, when you make a dumbass take about PC basketball, we're going to gladly tell you what is going through our minds, "bless your heart" not included.

Then, you have your national guys. Public enemy number one for PC fans on the old Twitter Machine has to be that fucking nerd Ken Pom. This guy. 

Ken Pom is a stat nerd who loves to crunch all these numbers and beep moop cha ching boop meep oh look here's who is going to win the national championship. Guys like KenPom don't take into the equation that you can't actually win on paper or an Excel sheet. KenPom has had PC as the luckiest team in the nation basically all season long. He wants to talk about luck? He'll be lucky not to have my foot up his ass if that jackass ever gets a veal parm sub on Federal Hill. Then you have the ultimate ESPN lackey Jay Bilas who even still refuses to give PC any credit, ranking them the 14th best team out of the remaining 16. Oh go screw. Just tell everyone you want Duke to win it all and call it a night. We all know the Bilas Bias. Of course, the real jackass of the bunch has to be Jesse Newell. He's a Kansas (!) beat reporter who somehow tricked his way into getting an AP vote to rank teams. I swear if you look at the teams he's voted for you would think he is picking which schools sent him the most mail after taking the SATs. I think Perkins School for the Blind got a vote before PC did this year. All these nerds need to pay and we need Cooley and Co to build off of this utter hatred and underdog bullshit and beat up Kansas so Jesse Newell can go chase after some tumbleweeds or whatever the hell there is to do in Kansas besides watch a basketball game.

It's nice being an alum of the best college program in the Northeast. It's not even close at this rate. Providence College is doing what Boston College was supposed to do. I bet Boston College's AD gets the willies every time he sees a sign for I95 South. He knows that just 50 or so minutes away, Providence and Ed Cooley are getting things done. Kicking ass and taking names, as God intended. This is gonna be fun Friday night (I hope). Noah Horchler is playing lights out (I was scared, like everyone else, when he cut off his luscious locks, but we good), Nate Watson is all in on this run, Bynum and Durham know that it's the end of the road, so why not extend it. This team is damn good and they are finally forcing people to notice. 

Cooley on Fire > Fire Cooley

So what happens if they get smoked by the Kansas Jayhawks? Not much. It's been a hell of a year and no matter what it is going to go down as a success. It's gambling with house money at this point. So why not go all in? Plus, is PC does lose, just give it a year or so. Kansas and coach Bill Self are going to get slapped with some rules infraction and will have to vacate this entire tournament, so just give PC the win anyways. 

Luck? Whatever. We'll take whatever we can get. All I know is "in Cooley we trust". Our mascot is creepy as hell and can help by simply weirding out Kansas. We already beat up South Dakota State and that douche with the Karate style headband. Round two we mopped the floor with the Richmond Spidermen. If I were Kansas I'd be quivering in my...I don't know. Whatever Kansians....Kansasites...Kansas people wear for shoes. You want my prediction? Here:

Be them dudes!

Friars by a million!

Keep the faith!!!!!