This is a pipe dream. The odds of this are slim-to-less-than-zero. It may even be a waste of a blogpost, but hey if I'm bringing this blog back from the dead, I may as well drag one of the greatest and most influential bands from the afterlife as well. In the style of an ESPN 30 for 30, what if I told you…that the Smiths were to get together and play one last show. What would be the reaction? Where and when would this occur? Why after all this time? The Smiths have not played together since December the 12, Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Six in the year of our Lord at the Brixton Academy in London for 'Artists Against Apartheid' which is a good thing for artists to be against. Basically, turmoil hit a boiling point and the godfather of emo music, Morrissey blew everything up and has refused millions of requests to rejoin Johnny Marr, Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke. In a short span, they gave the world a bunch of wonderful albums, and influenced bands from Brand New to Kanye West (jury is still out on that). They came into the music world hot, faded rather quickly, and left many wanting more. Now that it's almost been 30 years, and Morrissey announced that he has some form of cancer (along with the very Morrissey-like quote of "Well, if I die, I die." Sounds like a Smiths B-side if you ask me) it may be now or never for one of the most sought after reunions of all time.
As to how, when and where, who the hell knows. There have been rumors for years about Coachella offering millions and millions for them to bury their hatchets and play a show, but Morrissey just won't budge. If this miracle did happen, I'm guessing one of the gargantuan stadiums in London for just one night, with guaranteed vast sums of money and all sorts of demands. All this bullshit aside, let's move on to the setlist.
After fantasy football ended, an empty space has been in my heart for some time, so why not play a game of fantasy setlist? Before I give you my dream setlist, I'd like to thank some people for their input. These people enjoy the Smiths, were pretty pumped when I asked them and gave me awesome feedback right away, therefore, special thanks to Julie "Total Diva" Strano, Dave "Hey Isn't That Guy In the Attending?" Marcotte, and, of course, my Dad. Hi Dad. With their input, my ideas and, well, final say, here is the one time only Smiths reunion setlist:
1. Panic
2. Still Ill
3. Shoplifters of the World Unite
4. Ask
*First Morrissey Rant about the media.
5. London
6. A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours
7. This Charming Man
8. Frankly, Mr. Shankly
9. Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
*Second Morrissey Rant about how great animals are and how he will kill you if you eat meat.
10. Girlfriend In A Coma
11. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
12. Head Master Ritual
*Morrissey slam poetry against no one.
13. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
14. Hand In Glove
15. Boy With The Thorn In His Side
16. Meat Is Murder
* Third Morrissey rant, probably about animals again, or if anyone has pissed him off over the previous week, or how everyone wanted this god damn reunion to happen and he finally caved for the sake of it being over with.
17. I Know It's Over
18. Bigmouth Strikes Again
Encore 1.
1. Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want (Morrissey and Marr acoustic only)
*Slight possibility of band introductions, but don't bank on it.
Music has always been a big part of my life, although I can't play anything besides a couple of chord's of Deep Purple's 'Smoke on the Water' (thanks Dad!) and a few notes of Weezer's timeless classic 'Undone (The Sweater Song)' on guitar. I may have given up on my dream to headline a show at Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel in the fine city of Providence, R.I., but I will always be one to find new bands and check out much beloved acts whenever they are in a town close by me. This being said, over the past few years I have seen a lot of awesome shows, and I've been fortunate enough to see some of my all-time favorite bands live and in person. This past month I found myself making the wise decision to purchase 3 days passes for both the Boston Calling Music Festival and the Governors Ball Music Festival, and I got to thinking about which bands I'll be seeing for the first time. That thinking then got me to thinking about what bands I haven't seen yet, so I have made up my list of 15 (it was originally going to be 10, but it was too hard to narrow it down, so 15 it is). Last September I knocked off some big names on my list at Riotfest (Pixies, X) and I hope to knock some more off in the very near future with two awesome festivals coming up. These are all bands that I have been a big fan of, but just haven't been able to go to a show of theirs, and it's gotta be realistic, so bands like Nirvana, The Beastie Boys, and The Jonas Brothers are all off of this list.
15. You Blew It!- I'm starting things off with a new band who is starting to turn some heads. A bit punk, a bit emo revival, these guys are starting to take off. From their live videos on youtube, it seems like their shows can get a bit crazy, which always makes for an interesting night. It may sound somewhat hipster, but when you discover a band at the beginning it can make for some awesome shows you can look back on, especially when they get big and overtake the world.
14. Van Halen- These guys are just legends. Honestly, I don't even know if these guys are currently together or not, but let's be honest here, if they aren't then you can bet your bottom dollar that one of many reunion shows will be taking place in the near future. I just want to experience Van Halen with a bunch of older people reliving their glory days, and also so I can dance the night away.
13. Dave Matthews Band- I hate Dave Matthews with such a passion that I'm blanking on words to type to describe it. I have always hated him, I think he's extremely bland and boring and he just sucks as a person. Why do I need to see him in concert, you ask? Easy. So I can sneak in a bag of rocks to the show and try hitting him in the face. Realistically, I'm never going to see him because I don't want to give Dave Matthews any of my hard earned money, even if I hit him in the face with a bag of rocks, so therefore I am actually going to put Phoenix in this slot. Phoenix is pretty awesome. Dave Matthews sucks.
12. The Offspring- I have liked The Offspring since the 3rd grade when 'Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)' and 'Why Don't You Get a Job?' became big hits. I really don't know how I haven't seen these guys yet. The Offspring is one of those bands who you kind of forget just how many awesome songs they have had over the years, and I feel like it would just be one of those fun summertime shows where every one is singing along with every word to every song.
11. AWOLnation- A newer band who came out with a tremendous debut album in 2011 and gained instant popularity with 'Sail'. My buddy Tyler likes to always inform me every time he hears 'Sail' that the lead singer has some real soul in his voice, which I guess is true. They also came out with a second single 'Not Your Fault' which is one of my favorite songs to come out recently. Here they are playing it live:
10. The Smiths- This is the biggest stretch on my list, so I had to put it kinda low at #10. If The Smiths would actually get back together for the first time in almost 30 years, people who enjoy good music would lose their collective shit. One of the most influential bands from the 80's, who only had a handful of albums, called it quits while still in their prime. Johnny Marr and Morrisey went on to have successful careers elsewhere, but there is a certain mystique about The Smiths that leaves the rest of us wanting a chance to see them live. They have all basically sworn off any possibility of getting back together, but I'm banking on the old adage "never say never" for this. I don't have my hopes up, but please, please, please, let me get what I want. Sidenote: check out these people dancing. The 80's were great.
9. The Killers- Like The Offspring, The Killers are one of those bands that have so many good songs you kind of forget about them. These guys are talented, and although their last album kind of sucked (I'm blaming that for a loss of momentum from taking time off at the peak of their popularity), I still think they would put on a hell of a show. A dear friend of mine has seen them a few times in Chicago and always gave rave reviews about them, so I'm kinda trusting his judgment and putting them in my top 10.
8. Modest Mouse- 'Float On' got me into these guys, and I always kind of considered them a one hit wonder type until I really gave them a chance in college. I'm really glad I did. Modest Mouse makes music that can tug at the heartstrings at times, but they can also have the ability to rock out whenever they want to. Along with Brand New, Modest Mouse is a personal highlight for May's Boston Calling Festival. They've turned into a favorite band of mine, and it doesn't hurt that they have a song about my favorite writer entitled 'Bukowski'.
7. Blur- In the battle of bands between Blur and Oasis, I always sided with Blur. That's probably for the best because Oasis looks to be dead as Dillinger because those two jerkoff brothers can't get along together. Most people know Blur from 'Song 2' which is played at all major sporting events, but there is so much more to them which gets them on my list. They don't play too frequently, but they've been on my list for a while. I'll be lucky enough to see frontman Damon Albarn (who is also the mastermind behind the Gorillaz) play a solo set at Governor's Ball, so I'll take that for the time being.
6. Rage Against the Machine- Like The Smiths, it may be a stretch to see them live. I don't even know why they broke up, maybe too much time protesting stuff? Who knows. I want to see them live. One of the greatest live albums I've ever listened to was Rage at the Grand Olympic Auditorium. They put on a loud and intense show, and it's pretty powerful just to listen to, never mind witnessing in person. I don't think it would be the type of show to have your mom chaperone you to. Not that I still need that. I swear. Seriously though, I don't go to shows with my mom anymore. That happened this past summer but c'mon it was the Rolling Stones who else would I go see them with?
5. Radiohead- I don't care if they never play 'Creep'. I don't care if their frontman has a lazy eye. I need to see Radiohead. Thom Yorke is a genius and I honestly think Radiohead is a band we will look back on and compare with the Led Zeppelin's and Rolling Stone's for this generation. Sure, some of their songs can get kind of weird and out there, but I'm sure it's an experience worth being present for. Witnessing 'Paranoid Android', 'Karma Police' or 'Street Spirit (Fade Out)' would be a life-changing experience for lil ol' me.
4. Cage the Elephant- I'm imagining that there is one word to sum up a Cage the Elephant show: party. There are some bands who are just guaranteed to put on a kickass show involving a bunch of drunk people rocking out to awesome music, and they are one of them. I'd give anything to go out with some friends for a few barley-pops and then enjoy a nice evening with Bowling Green's best band. I am a firm believer that Cage the Elephant would provide a lot of crowd surfing, moshing, and probably a rough morning afterward. They make shows look like a lot of fun, and I want in.
3. Jack White/The White Stripes- Jack White is a genius. Plain and simple. The man has a successful solo career along with 3 bands who are all awesome in their own right. The White Stripes are untouchable. The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather are also amazing. Jack White is special because he just can't seem to write boring music. If I had a choice, I'd love to see The White Stripes get back together, but that doesn't seem to be happening, so I'll gladly settle for solo Jack White. I love how he plays songs from all 3 bands and his solo stuff at shows, giving his crowds a bit of everything. I cannot wait to see him at Governor's Ball. I'll have my fingers crossed that he plays 'Seven Nation Army' and/or 'Hardest Button to Button', but just being in his presence will be good enough for me.
2. Japandroids- I've only known about Japandroids for less than 2 years, but this is one band who has quickly grown into one of my all time favorites. I have a legitimate hatred for two of my "friends" who saw these guys at last year's Governor's Ball and for an after party show in some hipster club in Brooklyn. Japandroids may be the best thing out of Canada since Pam Anderson. Their music is meaningful, it can hit home at times, and it's true rock music in a time where we need it. This duo deserves to be the next big thing, and it pains me that I haven't had the opportunity to see them yet. Some day, you guys, some day.
1. The Strokes- One of my favorite bands of all time. The scary part is that I'm not sure if these 5 guys all hate each other or not. Their situation has been somewhat mysterious over the past few years: on one hand they've managed to release two albums since 2011, on the other hand they've only played a handful of shows, none of which since November of 2011. These guys are extremely talented and have put out some of the best songs to ever be recorded, so it's a damn shame they tour so little these days. After years of following them, my prayers were answered and the opportunity has arrived to see them live: at this years Governors Ball. Sure, I'm excited for the whole festival, but The Strokes really make up for the majority of my excitement. Barring any band members fighting and/or drug problems, the weekend of June 6th-8th is shaping up to be one of the finer weekends of my life.
The other night, MTV hosted their annual VMA's, and it was kind of a disaster. I could go on and on about how hypocritical MTV is hosting an awards ceremony for the music videos that they no longer show anymore, or how Billy Ray Cyrus had a worse night than anyone on this planet, or how bored Rihanna looked when the attention wasn't on her. I am here to discuss the reunion of *NSYNC, which was a very hyped 30 seconds during a 15 minute Justin Timberlake set. I'm indifferent about *NSYNC. They annoyed me when I was in the 3rd grade because girls (they had cooties back then) wouldn't shut the hell up about those guys and the Backstreet Boys. As time marched on, I gained respect for Justin Timberlake. Mostly from his appearance on Saturday Night Live, but also his music isn't that bad. Good for that guy. Anyways, I started thinking what other bands/acts should have reunited at the VMA's instead of *NSYNC's 30 second cameo that was about 11 years in the making. Before I start, I'm clarifying that I'm only doing possible reunions, so no Nirvana, Doors, etc. Also, I'm not counting groups who came back or broke up recently. I mean, I'd love to include No Doubt on this list but they kinda came back last year with an album that supposedly came out, so I'm sorry Gwen but you won't make the cut. Without further rambling, I give you my top 10 bands who should also have reunited at the VMA's.
10. Limp Bizkit- I kind of miss Fred Durst. I wonder what that guy is up to. At one point, he was famous for wearing a backwards red baseball cap and got Ben Stiller to make appearances in Limp Bizkit's music videos. What the hell happened? These guys were angry and managed to make a few good albums songs in the late 90's early 00's. I learned a lot of colorful language from Fred Durst and co. as a youngin' and always kind of found them entertaining. This being said, even as a semi-closeted fan, I would never go to a Limp Bizkit out of fear of my health/safety and fear of my reputation being forever tarnished. This being said, when it comes to a trash heap of an awards show who likes controversial appearances, give me Limp Bizkit any day. Maybe that feud between Carson Daly and Fred Durst concerning Christina Aguilera can come back into play. Keep on rollin'.
9. O-Town- There is no possible way that time has been kind to these guys. I hated these guys mostly because the blonde dude's name was like Ashley Angel or something. What a dweeb. This guy should have been beat up in high school, not being a pop-star making money (probably all of which is gone now). I have absolutely no idea if these guys were talented or not, because all I remember was looking at them and thinking they were pansies. I can't name you a single song by these idiots but they would certainly represent MTV as former TRL darlings that really capitalized on their momentum.
a turtleneck? C'mon man.
8. Gorillaz- Real wildcard here. The Gorillaz are on a hiatus and such, and have hits to draw attention and make people miss them. The VMA's might be the perfect chance to showcase a cartoon band on national television. Basically it's like watching cartoons while listening to good music, which is a lot of people kinda do today unfortunately. It's like an awesome version of Josie and the Pussycats at an awards show. I'll take a cartoon concert over Katy Perry boxing/singing on a bridge to close out the VMA's any day.
7. Weezer- I know, I know. They technically can't reunite because they're not broken up, but let's face it, they basically should have instead of the the garbage they have put out the past 8 years. Seriously. Their album 'Make Believe' (you know, the one with 'Beverly Hills' and 'Perfect Situation') came out in 2005. They put out 4 albums since that, in a span from 2008-2010, and even as a Weezer fan, I cannot name you one song from any of those albums besides that annoying 'Pork and Beans' song and that song called something like 'if you're wondering about him wondering if you want me to or if you want me to' GOD I'M CONFUSED. Anyways, the point is, Weezer has been pretty awful in the past 7ish years, and this is coming from a guy who really likes Weezer. It's been a long time since Island in the Sun and even longer since the days of Buddy Holly and The Sweater Song came out. Weezer is a band with a bunch of hits, but the time off is much needed, and they can comeback at the VMA's, play some of their greatest hits, and everyone will be happy.
6. Vanessa Carlton- Who doesn't love Vanessa Carlton? Honestly I have no idea, for all I know she could be still touring and releasing new music, but I'm not googling it. I felt foolish enough having 'White Houses' and 'Thousand Miles' show up on my Spotify for all 14 of my followers to see. I like Vanessa Carlton. She always had that look where she looked wholesome but kind of miserable. It was very I-hate-this-shit-but-I-have-to-look-adorable. I also want to point out that both 'White Houses' and 'Thousand Miles' are songs that most guys know and love. You can really tell a guys comfort level with himself as a man if he admits to liking Vanessa Carlton. Show me a man who claims to not like Vanessa Carlton and I will show you a liar. What better place for Vanessa Carlton to make her triumphant return to the lime light than the VMA's. I bet she wouldn't even have to twerk on her piano to wow the crowd.
I'd walk a thousand miles for you, bb.
5. Rage Against The Machine- Speaking of Vanessa Carlton, another similar act who should get their shit together and just play music at the VMA's is Rage Against the Machine. It doesn't make sense why these guys are still on a break/split. You have a band who people would kill to see live or get new music from, and they just can't get their act together. When people bring up the whole Rap Rock genre of the late 90's and 00's, it usually gets a lot of head shaking and eye rolls, but there was one band who stood out and was legit, and is still favorable today, and that is Rage. If the VMA's ever want a head banging performance that will get people talking, as long as they keep it a secret until it happens, Rage Against the Machine would be perfect. I know that I'd personally be pumped to see Bulls On Parade or Guerilla Radio live on TV. I'm really pulling for this to happen. This would help me forgive MTV for sucking the past 13 years. By the way, for anyone who loved the game Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 you might wanna watch the video below. Kinda intense.
4. Guns N Roses- This may be a no chance in hell sort of thing, but it would have people talking. Axl Rose and Slash playing together again for the first time in around 20 years, putting the hatred and lawsuits and history aside, all for Music Television. Sigh. I realize that Guns N Roses are technically touring still, but that's only Axl Rose and a bunch of random dudes he picked up off the street- it's just not the same. It's like Diet Guns N Roses. They should be called Bullet N Petals at this point if you ask me. I'm taking the original lineup any day. Their first album, Appetite for Destruction gave us 'Paradise City', 'Welcome to the Jungle' and 'Sweet Child O' Mine', which are all favorites on today's karaoke scene. On a side note: it makes no sense how none of these guys are dead yet. This is seriously one band that should have like 3 out of the 5 dead from drugs or alcohol or something, but somehow they have made it this far. This gives even better reason to celebrate by letting bygones be bygones and performing at the VMA's! I'll tell you, there would be plenty of cougars out there who would start getting hot flashes while watching the VMA's with their kids if GNR came out and shocked the world. The problem here is that Guns N Roses getting back together has an unlikelier chance of happening than Khloe Kardashian looking good in a bikini. It ain't gonna happen. Let's put it this way: if Guns N Roses couldn't reunite at their own Rock N Roll hall of fame induction, then they probably won't reunite for the VMA's which, let's face it, really aren't as important as they used to be. This would be great to see, but we gotta believe it won't happen.
The 80's were weird.
3. The Smiths- Hospitals across the world would be slammed by an influx of hipsters having heart palpitations if The Smiths were to reunite at the VMA's. The Smiths had everything going for them 25+ years ago and just quit during their prime. They are one of those "what if....?" bands where it is truly a shame that they couldn't put their differences aside for the sake of good music. Morrissey has gone on to have a successful solo career, but it's jut not the same. Of course, if this were to take place, there would be millions of random people who never heard of The Smiths and then hop on the bandwagon real quick, which would annoy the masses of Smiths fans already in existence. All the possible fake fans aside, it would be amazing to have it happen, although the chances of it are slim to none. Proof? Morrissey is quoted as saying "I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that's saying something for a vegetarian". Kinda graphic, kinda concerning, but really sums up the odds of The Smiths coming back. Also, they were rumored to be offered $75 million to do one tour and turned it down, so playing the VMA's might be unlikely if they were to miraculously reunite. NOTE: watch this video below. I think the two guys dancing in the crowd throughout the video were the creators of Molly.
2. Outkast- Hey ya! Out of all of these, it may be the most realistic to happen. I'm not the biggest fan of hip hop, I will certainly admit, but I always liked and admired Outkast. These guys were good. I still remember being awkward in the 6th grade, wearing some Marc Ecko shirt and listening to Ms. Jackson a couple of times a day to help build some cred with my new urbanized classmates. MTV loved Outkast, and rightly so. Outkast was another group who went out while in their primes. Hey Ya! and Roses came out and lasted a long time, only to have Outkast kind of fade off into the sunset with that being their last album. They have had their time off now and did their respective solo work, and it may be time to have a comeback. Another interesting thing to see would be Andre 3000's wardrobe for the VMA's. That's a man who knows how to dress. Outkast would be a homerun for surprise performances. You don't meet too many people who don't like Outkast. Everyone wins. They should play this years Super Bowl in my opinion. Beats the hell out of the Black Eyed Peas.
1. Creed- Just kidding. Although it would we be painful to watch these guys reunite, we could all still agree that although they are bad, Nickelback still sucks more than they do.
this is the worst picture I have/will ever put on my blog
1. The White Stripes- This was one breakup that made me lose faith in humanity for a short period of time. It really was amazing that this band, consisting of two people, who claimed to be brother and sister but turned out to actually be married and divorced, made such great music in their time. Every album they put out was awesome, and they kinda shocked the world when they announced they were calling it quits. I have the utmost respect for Jack White, who over the years has become one of the best musicians on the planet, and always stood up for Meg verbally, like shooting down critics of her drumming, or physically, like when he punched the lead singer of the Von Bondies in the face for making some negative comment about her. The White Stripes were sort of weird, but definitely brilliant. 7 Nation Army is going to be one of those songs that will still be played at sports arenas 50 years from now, and it would be tremendous to have them get back together at the VMA's. Who knows the possibility of this happening. I guess will have to just wait and see. And maybe pray.
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