Ticketmaster Can Go Fuck Itself!

 About a week ago, aging pop-punk and emo enthusiasts got some great news: Blink-182 was bringing back Tom DeLonge. The not quite original but definitely most beloved lineup of Blink told us they were back, complete with a new album, a song release (it's decent!) and most importantly, a massive world tour in 2023. 

Of course in this day of the internet, many made jokes about the age of the current fans blah blah blah. Some were decent, most were not even remotely humorous but whatever. It didn't rain on the parade of a proper Blink tour with the band back together (Sorry Matt Skiba). I don't think it's crazy to say that people of my generation still adore Blink. I'm 32 and they were like kings to my friends and I growing up. Mark Hoppus is like the Tom Hanks of Pop Punk, he's like a scene father figure to us! All three of the guys are beloved, and still keeping on everyone's radar. Travis Barker has produced like 33 trillion things, and married the only Kardashian that is worth a damn (also the one with the least amount of plastic in her). Mark whooped cancer's ass. Shit, Tom even managed to get the US government to admit that Aliens do in fact exist, because of his own research. God bless these three! They all have been thriving on their own, but everyone knows when they are together, full Voltron mode, they are the best.

I hope Mark finds that as a compliment!

A massive added bonus to the tour was the addition of the increasingly popular Turnstile, along with the legendary Rise Against (excellent band live, from what I remember from, like, 2009) and The Story So Far. That is one stacked tour for anyone who still likes guitars. This had the making for the tour of the year.

Then this morning happened. 

Holy shit. What a disaster. 

For anyone who has seen Peaky Blinders, there is a point in season 1 where Tommy Shelby explains the "soldier's minute". That one final stretch of calmness before the storm. It lasts seemingly forever and it oozes with tension of what is going to happen next. I felt that as the clock hit 9:59 am. Patient as ever, I waited out that minute only to be told that I was in a waiting room with over 2,000+ people trying to get tickets to the Boston Garden show next May. This part made sense, whatever. Not a surprise. What was surprising was being so incredibly victimized by Ticketmaster's "dynamic pricing". When I finally was allowed to go looking for tickets at about 10:25, my jaw damn near broke from looking at the prices. $1,000 for floor seats. $500 and up (before fees of course) for lower bowl, and even close to $400 for the nosebleeds up in the balcony level. 

Ticketmaster. Absolutely. Blows. 

They try to argue that "dynamic pricing" will cut out scalpers but then the prices get absurd because of the demand for the tickets....right when they go on sale...as if...a bunch of people aren't going to try to get them right when they go on sale....instead of going to scalpers....I don't care what bullshit excuse they try to use. These prices are just insane. They should bring back box offices at this point. Everyone knows the stupid fees we all get overcharged which don't make sense. "Handling fees" for e-tickets that don't have to be printed out. "Service fees" and "tax fees", go screw. Back in simpler times, you'd swallow the stupid fees, shrug it off and say eh okay it is what it is. These prices? No thanks. I'm not going to pay for prices that rival my half of the monthly rent for a somewhat decent seat. I absoultely loathe Ticketmaster. They are pure evil. I think even employees at the DMV would be in awe of how poor Ticketmaster treats their customers. 

They try to say this "dynamic pricing" is a way to curb scalpers but I really don't want to hear it. I have never dealt with prices like this when they go right on sale. Face value prices don't exist anymore. They have gone the way of the Dodo bird. This bullshit by Ticketmaster has jumped the shark. Egregious is too weak of a word for it. Anyone who works for them should be ashamed. They probably all clap when their airplane lands. I truly want this company to fail so badly. You know if they are pulling this shit already, it's just going to get worse and worse. 

What should be a super fun tour of the year, feel good reunion for an entire generation of people is now just a frustrating reminder that makes you say "Well I guess this is growing up."

Ticketmaster can go fuck itself. 

Count me out, folks!