Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal

I'll start this post off with a beg forgiveness. I apologize for not blogging since November the 27th when I made the world realize that the Christmas Shoes song is the worst thing to ever grace this good earth. I have an excuse, however it isn't a good one, but to be honest, I've just been too busy with school to blog. Okay anyways, Christmas time is upon us, and my gift to all of you is me taking a day off from finals to blog. I'm going to give you my Christmas list for this year. This means that all of you have 10 days (including today) to get me the stuff that would make my Christmas so great.

• Something good happening to Tiger Woods. The poor guy needs it. Even the porn industry is taking shots at Tiger by making a porno intitled "Tiger's Wood". Honestly, this is the worst month for any human being of all time. 92 mistresses, a link to human growth hormone, losing sponsors such as Gatorade and Buick, being beat around by his model wife with his own golf club and having to take an indefinite leave from golf. I want a good thing to happen to Tiger for a change, the poor guy needs it. I think Tiger was framed honestly. I want to hear that Tiger was framed. I know, I want one of the Tiger mistresses to actually be good looking. So far Tiger is 0-92 on the hot mistress count. One hot mistress can let the world know that maybe he cheated on his model wife for a good reason. Eh, that would be a Christmas miracle now wouldn't it?
• Lowball glasses. This may be weird, but after the lovely Alyssa Parella introduced me to lowball glasses, I fell in love. They're so simple yet sophisticated, they're clear, they hold fluids, what more can I ask of a glass?
• I want a reunion show of Boy Meets World. This show was underrated. Whatever happened to Cory and Topanga? Did the marriage last? Most young marriages usually don't last in today's world. Just look at MTV's Engaged and Underage. What about Shawn Hunter? Is he still as cool now as he was in High School. One things for certain though, Mr. Feeny is still the greatest principal to ever live. In fact, I'm declaring that Mr. Feeny was the greatest fake principal ever. This list includes Edward Rooney of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Principal Prickly of Recess fame, and Principal Bone from Doug.
• I want someone to tell me that my blog is better than a celebrity. Haley Cook told me the other day that my blog is close to being better than John Mayer's blog because it's more fun. This being said, apparantly I'm not as good looking nor as important as John Mayer, so she still said that his blog was just better based on the person. So I want someone to truthfully tell me that my blog is better than an A-list celebrity's blog. Please and thank you.
• Legos. I can honestly say that if there was one toy from my childhood that I could still play with today and not get made fun of, it would definitely be Legos. Alright, maybe not get made fun of, but I wouldn't be ashamed of playing with Legos. I spent so much time creating perfect societies out of Legos. It could be the greatest creative toy of all time, and it certainly kicks the bejeezus out of Lincoln Logs. What else could you build with Lincoln Logs besides a Log house? Still to this day, one of my proudest moments was creating this Lego Pirate Ship which looked like this. I guess Legos are the only toy that I still have fond feelings for.
• A Columbia University/Barnard t-shirt. Danielle Rizzini, this is your shoutout. It also is doubling as a request for a Christmas present. You are my favorite Jewish person in the world, so since I know you will be reading it, you can make it a Hanukkah gift if you want.
• A female companion. After surviving the most horrific relationship known to man, I promised myself that I would stay low and keep myself single for a long time. Fast forward from July 27th 2008 to now and I've decided to take a bold step back into the world of dating. If you're interested in a guy with wavy brown hair who writes blogs, then go to my facebook or something and tell me how much you love me. If you have a female friend who is good looking and might be interested, or want to play a cruel joke on them, send them to me.
• People to spread peace, joy, happiness and links to this blog. I want to affect as many people with my knowledge about useless things as possible. I'm telling you, this blog will be famous one day.
• Tickets to the Bruins/Flyers Winter Classic game at Fenway Park would be nice. Do I expect anyone of you to give me these? No. But I can dream can't I?
• A Red Hot Chili Peppers cd in the near future.
• A bobblehead of myself. I like bobbleheads, so having one of myself would be pretty cool I guess.
• I want Danny Allen to crack a smile. Lord knows that that kid needs it. Everyone knows that it takes more muscles to frown than it takes to smile.
• Another good Christmas present would be for Eric Lamy to no longer bother me about giving him a shoutout on the blog, therefore I'm giving myself an early Christmas present and giving Eric a shoutout right now. Thanks for the ride from Louie's Eric. You are without a doubt the wisest man I've ever met.
• Now that I've been thinking about it, how about a Ferris Bueller sequel? I mean it couldn't be worse than D-3 the Mighty Ducks nor Caddyshack 2. Or the second Ace Ventura. Or Jaws 2, 3 and 4. Actually nevermind. I don't want a Ferris Bueller sequel.
• Tickets to see The Clash, Nirvana and The Ramones.
• Heidi and Spencer Pratt, so I can light them on fire.
• A puppy.
• A portrait of myself to hang in my dorm.

Is this too much to ask for? I don't think so. I mean I realize that the only plausible thing I may get is the Columbia/Barnard T-shirt from Danielle Rizzini, but even that might be a stretch. Oh well.

Welp, see ya later.