Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Decade Under the Influence...of Fun!

Once again, Andrew "Danger" Chace has come through in the clutch, and delivered an absolutely perfect idea for a blog topic. I thought about saving this one until New Years, but to be honest, I can't wait that long to post it. After making my facebook fan page, I simply asked for people to give me topics to post about, and Andrew the Mandrew came up with the best response, so without further adieu, I give to you the 10 best things about the past 10 years. Technically, this will be from 2000-2009, and I realize I'm leaving out this month and next month, but I really don't care.

10. Movies of the Decade - My generation will forever be screwed up by the movies that came out over the last 10 years. I guess this can be said about most generations, but let's face it, my generation will be the most screwed up. When we're older, we will get revenge the same way The Bride did in Kill Bill. If the government keeps acting up, we will become like V in V for Vendetta and make the government fear it's own people. For those of us who are out of shape, big, and have curly hair, you will think you can get a hot blonde chick like Katherine Heigl knocked up. When we're parents, we'll be hoping that if our children's teacher breaks her leg, Jack Black will be their substitute teacher and turn our kids into rock stars. For those of us who will become professional assassins, we will have been tricked into thinking that we can "curve the bullet" like in Wanted. I can guarantee that some people will think that Gotham City is real. Nerds all across the universe who were teenagers during this decade will tell their kids that they were just as awesome as McLovin was. What a scary thought. I think the only thing worse would be if Transformers ruin the world. Either that or 2012 will kill all of us. Oh yeah, and even though as awesome as it would be, no one will have a night like the guys of The Hangover.

9. The Implemention of East Providence Lacrosse (2006) - Matt "Rat" Rizzini one day came up to me in the poorly constructed and awfully painted halls of East Providence High one day and told me he wanted to start a lacrosse team. I had nothing better to do, so I decided to help by giving him the name of my math teacher who played lacrosse at Syracuse. Bam. Team started. I couldn't even spell lacrosse, let alone know how to play, but Matt showed me the light, and soon I was on my way to one of the finest careers ever seen in the history of EPHS lacrosse. I had never had so much fun at a sport. It can be said that this sport was probably the sport I was the best at, considering I sucked at hockey and I ran only one year of cross country, so this could be why I had so much fun playing, but that's besides the point. East Providence Lacrosse introduced me to numerous fellows, most good and a few bad, but playing a sport for fun in a high school environment, hearing my name sometimes called over the loudspeaker for scoring a goal in a 14-0 win over Tiverton High (obviously the most important of those 14), and picking up chicks with my athletics (alright maybe it's not true, I was kinda whipped on a psychotic you-know-what back in my high school days)were what made my high school experience that much better. I will never forget when Scott Damiano 'rode the pony' with his lax stick after scoring a meaningless goal in the 4th quarter of a blowout against South Kingstown, nor will I forget the brawl that broke out where we kicked the $#!% out of Bitchuate High. I still don't consider myself a 'lax bro', but I will always have a soft spot in my heart for 2006.

8. Los Angeles (2007) - Los Angeles. The wild west. This was a vacation for my cousins wedding, and it was one of the most relaxing weekends in my life. I knew it would be a great trip when we first arrived at our hotel, and we came across what looked like a prostitute transvestite who I can swear on my life looked like Shaq. I mean I highly doubt that Shaq would be wearing red heels, a blonde wig and a cheetah print dress, while keeping his goatee on his face, but she/he/it really did look like Shaq. I chilled on Laguna beach, cried at a wedding, finally made it to Dodger Stadium to see my boy Nomar pinchit and fly out to leftfield (thanks for the tickets Dad) and learned what smog was. Los Angeles is just different from Providence in a few ways, and it was a nice change to see how A-listers live, and where they live. Alright, I'll be honest, this trip was awesome mainly because of the females I saw on the beaches, and that prostitute. God bless L.A.

7. Discovering Jack Bauer and 24 - I started watching 24 only because it came on after the NFC Championship game in 2005, and I've been hooked since. There is no doubt that Jack Bauer is the greatest American Hero of alltime, and I will challenge anyone on this subject. Jack Bauer has had the worst day ever. 8 times. No man has ever kicked so much ass, spent time captured, found ways to get out of being captive, taken down evil political figures, and save America in one day than Jack. Each season I know that Jack will survive and save the day, but still, for some reason I keep on questioning whether or not he will do it. I can tell you right now, if Jack Bauer were real, we wouldn't be in a recession. The economy would be great. Everyone would have jobs. The Bruins would win the Stanley Cup. This guy would still be alive. Danny Allen would crack a smile. Long sleeve plaid shirts will never go out of style. Imagine the possibilities.

6. Meeting Joe Rippolone (2008) - Joe Rippolone is one of the most influential kids I have ever met in my life. No man will ever go as far as Joe in any aspect of life. This man, as most of you know, is one of the sharpest dressed, mature, and interesting men I have ever met. I always considered myself a snappy dresser until I met Joe. I've known him for a year and a couple of months, and I have enough stories from him to tell my grandkids until they're 9 without repeating. No kid has ever had the cajones to meet two strippers and bring them back to PC as a freshmen. No kid has gone out to buy a security camera to install in the hallway, just so he can tell who is at the door so he can pretend he's sleeping or if he really want to make the 3 step trip to the door and answer it. Joe has ties to the Ford Family, represents Detroit with all his heart, and is a diehard Lions fan. I will be able to come back to Providence College for class reunions, and if I run into someone I don't know, I'll already have an upperhand in the conversation because I was a friend of Joey Ripp. Joe is virtually a 35 year old executive making six figures trapped in a nicely dressed body. College is a wonderful place.

5. Facebook - This one was somewhat hard to swallow (that's what she said), but facebook is one of the best inventions of this decade. We all benefit from it. Before facebook, I would never have to turn down invitations to groups and events, now I do. Each time I deny or ignore something/anything, I feel better about myself because I am superior to this person/thing. Facebook statuses also helped me spread this blog around like it was swine flu at a college campus. Honestly though, facebook has some benefits. It makes it easier to stay in contact with friends from home, blah blah blah, okay yeah facebook is kind of lame, but we are all guilty of looking forward to notifications, especially on our respective birthdays. It's always fun to get tagged in pictures, and even more fun to look at the loser who sat in front of you during graduation's status informing us that she is in love with a kid you know will turn out to be a convicted felon.

4. Getting in to Providence College (2008)- College will most likely be the greatest 4 years of my life. I've come to terms with this early on, and it's probably for the better that I face this somewhat sad fact. When I got the big white envelope in my mailbox from Friar Town, I knew right off the bat that this was where I was going. Sure, I considered URI, Bryant and Syracuse, but Providence College was always my #1 spot. Since coming here, I have made numerous friends, few enemies, met some of the hottest girls I will ever lay eyes upon, have witnessed some of the most unbelievable things imagineable, and have made memories to last a lifetime. The best part is, my college career isn't even halfway over. Take my dear friend and fellow Bruin fan Mike Marella. I spent a solid 8 months of my life convincing him that he stole my Reese's peanut butter cup, when both of us knew that this was not the case whatsoever. This past September, as I walked into Civ, Mike told me he had a present. I was thinking it would be a highlighter or a pumpkin or something, but no. Mike gave me a king sized package of Reese's. Where else over the course of my life can I accuse someone of stealing, and then get free Reese's? Retirement? Doubt it. While being a working stiff for the majority of my life? Highly unlikely. College is just a magical place, where dreams come true, legends are born, and blogs are created.

3. June 27th, 2009 - This could be my the favorite day of the whole decade. Myself, Andrew Chace, and the magnificent Rizzini Brothers (yeah there's a second brother, Chris, but we don't talk about him too much) went on a day trip to Boston that will not be forgotten for a long time. Started off as a long drive to Boston which consisted of playing I Spy (here's your shoutout Steve Sheridan of Don Bosco Prep, the greatest I Spy player ever), the GPS dying, and the backseat driverside window (my side) not being able to go down. This soon became even better when we finally reached Beantown and got a bite to eat at Eagle's Deli. This place, without a doubt, has the greatest burgers ever, and is even the home of one of the greatest eating challenges ever, as seen here. After shopping on Newbury St. and telling a homeless person that I don't want to fill out a survey so I could just go on my way to Dunkin' Donuts, we ended up behind the famous Green Monster. What is behind the Green Monster you ask? The House of Blues. Why were you at the House of Blues, Jim? Taking Back Sunday. Taking Back Sunday is my favorite band of all time, and they may be one of the greatest live bands ever. This show was amazing, from meeting up with fellow PC Friar Meg Mahoney (thanks for letting us cut half the line, here's a shoutout for that), to the encore, everything was amazing about this show. Sure, Andrew Chace got temporarily thrown out of the show for kicking the bejesus out of some drunk punk (rhyme?) in self-defense, but he ended up smooth talking his way back in. TBS opened up with You Know How I Do and played every song I could've asked for. Oh yeah, then I caught a guitar pick. Then when we got back home we crashed a party which at one point had a minivan drive through it's backyard. Now that's what you call a night to remember.

2. Sports in 2004/2005 - Ah yes, what a great time to be alive. I call this year, the year of bling. 2004 will always stand out as one of the most sucessful years ever in New England sports. The Red Sox had won a World Series, the Patriots won another Super Bowl with a lack of wide receivers, and then even I got lucky. Not only did I win a PYHA hockey championship as the captain of the Red Team, a week later I became a true legend of East Providence when I was the waterboy of the Division III hockey state champion East Providence Townies. We went undefeated, 24-0. The ironic thing is, I played in just as many games as we lost. Zero. You may be asking me, "Wow, Jim that kind of sucks, how can you possibly say this was a great thing for you?". Good question, and for every good question, a great answer should be returned. My good answer is this: I have a championship ring, medal AND letterman jacket for filling waterbottles and only going to two practices a week. It all comes down to the championship rings, and I have one. I don't know too many other Division III Rhode Island hockey players who got rings in February of 2005. Oh wait, no one else had any because us Townies had them. Oh I'm sorry, was I ranting? I must have got carried away while looking at my reflection in my shiny championship ring.

1. Breakfast at Jimothy's (2009) - This blog is the only thing I truly love in life. The love I have for this blog surpasses any love I had in middle school. I know your thinking of that old commercial for Kix "Well if you love it so much, why don't you marry it!", but that's alright with me. I take care of this blog and I enjoy writing us and hope that you, the reader, has some fun reading it. This blog is like my life calling. Do I want to move on in life? I guess so. Lord knows what the future will bring. Maybe I'll write a book. Maybe I'll form a band. Maybe I'll create my own movie. Lord knows what the future will bring. The point is that I wanted to do this for two years, but never thought it would work out. Now I'm doing this and thinking of the next 10 years. I'll be 29 in ten years. What a scary thought. All I know is that it's been a fun decade, and capping it off by creating something that's fun is one of the best decisions I've ever made. Without this blog I'd be staring at my ceiling or annoying someone on my floor. Where would random pictures of Michael Jackson come from? Not from Perez Hilton. Where else can you get an insight into my life? Hopefully nowhere else. Where else can a kid in Providence, Rhode Island talk about the most pointless things in the world? Nowhere. Oh well, enough about showing my true feelings for this blog.

Until next time, welp, see ya later. P.S. Ryan Urk, here's your shoutout. Love you buddy. Tell Brit I said hey.

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