Breaking News.

Chad Ochocinco is changing his name back to Chad Johnson. You heard it here first from myself and Ryan Urk.

Purple Reign

Greetings from Providence friends. There's a lot of talk about some giant snowstorm on Wednesday and it's like -10 right now, so pretty much it's going to turn into that movie The Day After Tomorrow here, so this may be the last blogpost of all time. Moving on, if you all remember back to a few months ago, I along with my teammates became the first ever Providence College Quidditch champions. Obviously I was excited and was incredibly pumped to receive my championship t-shirt, which may be the most prized possession here at PC besides the legacy left behind by Ryan Gomes like 5 years ago. Anyways, we received the t-shirts today, and as I came from my Psych Lab today I was somewhat disappointed to find that they were a nice shade of purple. I just wasn't as thrilled as I thought I would be to receive my shirt, and it is definitely because the shirt is purple. Don't get me wrong, the memories of winning will never leave my mind, and my numbers as the greatest chaser in school history can speak for themselves, but I feel slighted. This leads to the question that I am posing: is purple alright?

After discussing this with my fellow teammates, "Flyin'" Ryan Urkiel said that he played Quidditch for the sake of the sport, which I had to call him out on. The majority of us did it just to win an easy t-shirt, since there was no way we were going to be see by about a hundred people running around with broomsticks between our legs playing a magical sport just for the fun of it. I don't mean to bash the sport and all, I just sorta wish they gave us a cooler color. A nice red or robin's egg blue would've been sufficient, but instead I have to look like Barney the Dinosaur in this thing. My roommate and beater Sean "Blondie" Mottola is alright with the purple, because he's a cool snowboarder, wears clothing by companies like NEFF and is the only person I know to shop at Zumiez at the Providence Place Mall, but the rest of us are just not as comfortable with the color.

Purple is just odd. When I think purple, I think of grapes, Prince, and Grimace, all of which kinda suck. It just isn't flattering on me. I look good in many things, like red tshirts, jeans, and tuxedos, but I never was one to embrace purple. I always found it to be more of a girly color, a goth color, or just way too obnoxious to look at. I'm pretty positive that when I was in middle school, no guy would ever wear purple because if he did he would either get the snot kicked out of him or he would be made fun of until tears were dropping on the ground from said preteen's tearducts. I always liked to not get picked on, so my wardrobe has never featured much purple, so having this tshirt is just kind of freaking me out. It's almost like receiving a crappy Christmas gift. You know you have to thank the person who gave it to you and pretend you're excited to receive it, but deep down you're swearing to yourself and asking what you can possibly do with this gift.

The main point here I'm trying to make is that it foils my plan. These shirts are intended to help guys pick up chicks because having one means you kicked ass at some sport. Since all the tshirts are the same besides color, you can get away with saying you won for a different sport than you really did win if you wanted to. In the back of my mind, I was planning to lie and say I was a dodgeball champion the moment I signed up to play. This of course was with the thought that I would get a primary color tshirt. Even plain white, gray or green would have worked. I would rather have yellow or orange than purple. It's a travesty to have this purple shirt in my eyes, because it foils my plan. Obviously the purple t-shirt is associated with the magical sport. I should've known we'd end up getting screwed with the shirt color. This only proves that Quidditch still doesn't get the respect it deserves. How can I pick up any girls with my championship tshirt if it's purple, then have to come clean and admit I won it for Quidditch? It probably doesn't help that I'm blogging about it, but more people haven't read this blog than people who have, so I guess I still had a shot if it were not for my tshirt being purple.

Anywho, I'm freezing here. It was something like -46 here today in Providence. I'm willing to give a shoutout in the next blog to anyone who leaves a comment that can warm me up. I highly doubt it's possible at this point in the game, but give it your best shot.

Bfast @ Jimothy's 2010 Man of the Year Award

Greetings friends. I realize I haven't blogged in a while, mostly cause I haven't felt up to it, and I've been having creative differences with my staff. Anyways, after talking to my closest asset to the blog Danny Allen, I have decided to update the blog more often, just with shorter posts. We'll see how that works out. Anyways, onto the 1st annual Breakfast at Jimothy's Man of the Year award.

This award has strict criteria that is analyzed for a long period of time, so that the recipient is truly deserving of the award. Therefore, this year's winner is the one, the only, Bruce "Thank You O.J. Simpson for Giving My New Family Money After Killing Your Wife" Jenner. Bruce Jenner (hopefully most of you know this) is the happy go-lucky, awful hair wearing husband of Kris Kardashian, and the step father to Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian. Also, it has just been discovered that he has some Olympic gold medals or something like that. The reason for Bruce Jenner getting the nod for this award is simply that he is living the life of most men: marrying into a rich family and never having to do anything ever again.

Let's look into the average day for Mr. Jenner. He wakes up, has breakfast, plays with his model toy airplanes, has lunch, probably takes a nap, he might work out, has dinner and then goes to bed, all while being filmed. On Keeping Up With the Kardashians, all he does is average stuff. You know, he might help change a lightbulb at one of those stupid Dash stores, and he has great one liners all throughout the show. Sure, it might suck that he has to constantly be around Miss Piggy, I mean Kourtney Kardashian, but now he even gets to hang out with Lamar Odom. This guarantees him Lakers tickets whenever he wants, and he gets to hang out with a URI alum (sort of, I guess). Sure, it might also suck that all his money goes to his wife Kris, since she's a controlling freak and made of pure evil, but at least he doesn't have to worry about paying any bills. No matter what Bruce does he doesn't have to worry about anything. Myself and my roommates this past year might have watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians more than any other show on television (Man Vs. Food and Californication being the only shows remotely close to it), and most people may be confused as to why, but if you ask Myself, Gaynor, Urk, Sean or Matt, I'm pretty confident the reason any of us would give to support our watching the show is Bruce Jenner. Men should take notes and strive to have the life that Bruce Jenner does. If I can make my golden years consisting of one-liners, having bad hair days seven days a week, and becoming rich by getting filmed doing nothing, I'd be pretty happy.

Bruce also has to be appreciated for putting his foot down and sticking up for himself against Kris Kardashian. That woman would have tea with Satan if she felt she could lock up a business deal for Kim if she could. Bruce repeatedly stood up for himself if he didn't want to do something, but he knew his limits. When Kris demanded his presence in New York for the 4th of July to party with Miles Austin and Lamar Odom on a Cruise, he said he would rather be patriotic in his own way, which consisted of getting his ears pierced and a haircut with his stepson Rob, not to mention going to the club with him. Bruce also repeatedly told Kris that he didn't want to go out like a teenager to clubs and would rather be in bed by 9 o'clock on a Saturday night, just because he wants to. Although it sounds lame, you have to respect the man for finding ways to get his own way. So Bruce, I salute you for that. Okay, now I'm out of examples of Bruce sticking up for himself, but having those two examples against Kris Kardashian is good enough for any man.

Now this award isn't just because Bruce is living the good life, but also because he is a leader and a mentor. There are rumors that he also moonlights as a motivational speaker (I'd be one too if I were living his life) but he also mentors that douchebag Scott Disick. Scott is like Bruce in the sense that he wants to marry rich into the Kardashian family, but he is just the drunk clubrat baby daddy that no one likes. As much as Bruce seems to hate him, he bites the bullet for the sake of mankind and attempts to mentor him by taking him go-kart riding and doing stuff that only rich people can do together. It may not be working just yet, but one episode saw Scott thank Bruce by giving him a custom made suit, so it wasn't totally a waste. It takes a bold man to help mentor one of America's biggest pricks, and even if it wasn't successful, at least he got a new suit out of it.

It is safe to say that in 2010, Bruce Jenner gave hope to men who have gotten plastic surgery. He has given hope to men with awful, horrible hair. He inspired millions to live his life. He made toy airplanes cool. He once posed for PlayGirl Magazine. He gives hope to all men to marry rich and live comfortably, even if your wife controls all your funds.

Quidditch

You know what I’m thankful for? Quidditch. Yes. The magical sport of Quidditch, popularized by Harry Potter which is played upon brooms. This may seem odd to most of you, but when you think about it, it makes sense.

See, at Providence College, almost everybody plays Intramural Sports to win the illustrious championship t-shirts. It seems lame, but everyone strives to get a t-shirt before they graduate. Over the years, there have been wars, drama, suspense, blood, guts, and glory in the pursuit of these championship shirts. It really is a big deal on campus. I can only imagine the amount of kids who are really good at sports but came up short on winning a t-shirt. So far in my college career, I have participated in flag football, dodgeball, kickball, lacrosse, and hockey. The gist of my intramural career is this: we have great regular season records, then the playoffs come around and we choke harder than President Bush on a pretzel. It’s not even like I make it to the semi-finals. I’m talking about getting bounced in the first or second round. This year just for kickball, we made it to the second round and were winning by about 4 runs in the bottom of the last inning, and blew that game and lost with two outs to go. It actually started to hit me that me and my friends were gonna graduate without getting those damn t-shirts. I was running out of time and it was actually bothering me when all of a sudden, about two weeks ago, there was a sign up sheet in our dining hall for Quidditch. Obviously, my roommate Matt asked me to play, kind of joking yet kind of not. I will admit I was skeptic for a solid half-second, I mean Providence College is a Catholic institution, so don’t they frown upon witchcraft and wizardry? After truly pondering playing, it hit me that not many people would sign up for this, so this might give me my best odds at winning a t-shirt, so I said yes.

Over the next week, I was really thinking about it. Some people called it lame and rolled their eyes at us for playing a magical sport, but I knew that deep down, as long as I won a t-shirt, I didn’t care. On the other hand, I also realized that if we played Quidditch and didn’t win anything, I would be extremely embarrassed, pissed, and would contemplate transferring to Rutgers. It somewhat bothered me that people would be watching me and my friends running around with broomsticks between our legs to simulate “flying” broomsticks. However embarrassing it may be, I knew that if I won a t-shirt it would be worth it. It is sorta difficult to explain, but real life Quidditch is played with seven people on each team. One goalie “keeper”, one seeker who goes after the golden snitch which is worth 150 points and ends the game when caught, three “chasers” which throw a volleyball into three hula hoops that were hanging down from partially raised curtain, and finally two “beaters” who throw dodgeballs at the opponents chasers, in order to gain possession of the volleyball. Goals scored by chasers are worth 10 points apiece, so due to the golden snitch (which was a kid running around sporadically with a flag football belt on) being worth 150 points, the game eventually comes down to catching the golden snitch to win. The most difficult part was holding onto a broom between your legs and handle catching balls. The other hard part was telling my parents I’m gay. Just kidding.

Anyways, only four teams showed up for the tournament, which gave us great odds to win this thing. My team was called The-Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in honor of Lord Voldemort. Our seeker was Ryan “?” Urkiel, our keeper was Matt “Slappy” Rizzini, our two beaters were Sean “Vincent” Mottola, who actually referred to himself as “The Master Beater” and Mike “Wind” Shields. Our chasers consisted of myself, Steve “Chief No Lungs” Sheridan, “Six-Pack” Chris Rizzini, and Mitch “The Techie” Intrieri. The other three teams consisted of 7 kinda nerdy freshmen girls, 7 girls from the field hockey team, and the last team was made up of 5 guys and two girls. I’ll be honest, just about everyone thought it would come down to my team against the team with five guys and two girls, but after the shocking upset of the freshmen girls team somehow beating the team with five guys, we started to feel good going into our semi-final game against the PC field hockey team.

I gotta say, those girls were aggressive. They all knew how to throw elbows and charge at people. Some of them were scary to be honest. As gentlemen, we weren’t going to tackle these girls and be extremely aggressive, since they were girls. It just didn’t feel right to try to rip a volleyball out of a girls hands, but after they started throwing elbows at us, we took no prisoners. I think Matt Rizzini broke his hand slapping a ball at some chick’s face. Long story short, Urk caught the snitch and we won something like 210-30. We were now one game away from the illustrious t-shirts. I hadn’t been so nervous to play a magical sport in years. I felt like Harry Potter in the 2nd book when he…..okay no I didn’t. Honestly I just wanted to win a damn tshirt. We weren’t 100% sure of the win, but we were like 97% sure we were gonna win. We just didn’t want to end up like the other team who lost to these freshmen girls (I actually think some of those guys were still in shock they lost). We went into that game and decided to pour it on them, feel no remorse for these girls and just win. The way I looked at it was I had three semesters left to win a t-shirt. These girls had 7. Right from the get-go, me, Chris and Mitch worked well together as chasers. Yeah maybe I did some cherry picking to get some easy goals, but it kept working. The score was about 80-0 when I saw that weirdo kid who was pretending to be a golden snitch run around the gym, and when Urk caught him, it felt like I had actually won the lottery. Knowing that I had won that t-shirt made me feel like I could relate to the San Francisco Giants, Chicago Blackhawks, Lakers, and the Saints this past year. We were jumping and screaming and crying like we had won the NCAA basketball tournament.

After the fact, some ‘friends’ of mine have complained about us winning a t-shirt for Quidditch. A lot of people say that it shouldn’t count because it’s a magical sport and not real. Well let me tell you all, it is real, cause we played it. We played, and we won. It makes sense that the people complaining about us winning a t-shirt for Quidditch are all people who have yet to win a championship t-shirt themselves. All they try to say in defense is that their 3-on-3 basketball team is 3-0 so far. For me, I couldn’t care less that we won in Quidditch. I find it funny. That being said, if we had lost to that freshmen girls team in the finals, I would have killed myself from the shame of being runner up with nothing to show for while playing Quidditch. It is also pretty cool that I am the all-time leading scorer for chasers in Providence College history AND a member of the first ever PC Quidditch champions. It’ll be something to tell my grandkids and possibly put on my resume. I guess the moral of the story is to always believe. It doesn’t matter if the sport is magical or not, just believe in yourself. So thank you, Harry Potter, for helping us all believe that we too can become champions at Quidditch if your school is lame enough to offer it!

Forever yours,

Jimothy (Providence College Quidditch Champion)

The Quest to Find a Date to JRW

I am searching for a date to the Providence College Junior Ring Weekend ceremony. Basically it's a prom for college aged kids. Honestly, I don't know who to ask because I'm too lazy to really think about it and I'm horrible at making decisions. I have no doubt it'll be a good time, and as many people have told me, I do look damn good in a tuxedo, and I can hold my own on the dance floor as numerous good looking women know. So pretty much, I have about a month to find a date to this shindig. To get myself and other PC Juniors pumped for the occassion, I'm going to give you all my top 10 list of dream dates for this upcoming JRW.


10. Hayley Williams- I'm getting the only ginger on the list out of the way early. She got my respect through Paramore and is my favorite female rock singer since Gwen Stefani, and those are big shoes to fill. She's currently number one on my ginger power rankings since Lindsay Lohan is now a druggie, blonde and hasn't done anything since Mean Girls. Honorable ginger mentions to Emma Stone and the lovely Erin Murtagh


9. Danny Allen- He can dance if he wants to. Or he can leave his friend behind.


8. Maci from Teen Mom- She might have to been back sorta early to put Bentley to bed, but she's okay in my book. Honestly, she gets a lot of points for her accent. It would probably be good for her to not go to a prom-type event while pregnant so she would look decent in a dress.


7. Elin Woods- She's gotta be pretty lonely right about now. Also, she can buy my ticket for me with all the money she's getting from Tiger.


6. Emma Watson- There are some conditions here. 1. she would have to grow back her hair instead of the current pixie haircut she has. She looks like a Keebler Elf with that haircut. 2. She has to wear her Gryffindor robes. Although my shot of getting her to go with me is still not very likely, my best shot is probably with her due to the fact she's currently in Providence. I just have to work my magic to get her to go with me (pun definitly intended).


5. Hilary Duff- To my somewhat embarassment, when I had my long hair, a few people actually said I looked like Gordo. Since Gordo and Lizzie Maguire are meant to be together, it only makes sense that she would go with me.


4. Stacey's Mom- She's DEFINITLY got it goin' on.


3. Scarlett Johansson- She is the total package. She gives a good name to Danish women and I'm jealous of Matt Gaynor for going abroad this spring to Denmark. That kid will be swimming in women just like Scarlett. Danish fathers should lock up their daughters cause Beowulf is coming. Anyways, she's gotta wear a red bombshell dress. That'll be nice.


2. Topanga Lawrence- A bit of a weirdo, and Cory Matthews may have a problem with me taking her, but I think overall she'd be a fine date. She was a staple of my childhood television watching and is one of those characters that guys of my age group will never forget. It would also be an added bonus of Mr. Feeney showed up at the dance.

1. Mila Kunis- I wake up every morning and ask God why Mila Kunis is engaged to Macauley Culkin. Life just isn't fair. I love Mila Kunis due to playing Jackie on That 70's Show, then was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Words cannot describe my true feelings for her. If I ever saw her in person I'd faint like I was a chick during the early 70's who just saw The Beatles at Shea Stadium. Many people would call me insane, but I'd rather spend one day with her than a week with Kim Kardashian. Bam. If anyone has her phone number, please give it to me so I can ask her to JRW. That'd be dope.

Honorable Mentions- The St. Paulie Girl, Blake Lively, Debbie Thornberry, Sable, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, Summer Sanders, Rose McGowan, Adriana Lima, Smurfette.

Shoutouts- Thank you to Kelsey DeJesus for suggesting Danny Allen as a date. I was going to say Johnny Depp at first, but she led me in the right direction. Also, thanks to Matt "Buckin' Bronco" Gaynor, Sean "Killer" Mottola and Ryan "Tiny Dancer" Urkiel.

What The Hell? Part III

Once again, somebody posted a series of questions for me to answer on the blog. Honestly, I have no idea who it is, like not even a clue. I gotta say that I'm not as creeped out at the fact that I'm receiving the questions since I've kinda gotten used to it, but some of these questions are just odd. I will give whoever you are credit for making them interesting questions and some of them are pretty funny, however some of them are just weird. Oh well, who am I kidding this gives me a good reason to blog, so here goes nothing! All the questions are straight as they appear from the comment section of the It's Kool 2B in Skool blog I made last week.

Anonymous said...
some inspiration.......
1. Why Jim and not James?
I didn't want people to get me confused with James and the Giant Peach, so when I was about 3 months old I decided to go by Jim.

2. What are you looking for in a wife (besides being an excellent sandwich maker)?
She's gotta be a woman, have a wonderful personality, is okay with attending Bruins games with me, can make me laugh, and lastly, is a good beer pong partner.

3. What's the best class you've taken in college and why?
My best class at Providence College was probably Growth in Christian Life because it taught me to never take another Theology class ever again. Seriously though, it was probably Educational Psychology. It was fun.

4. What's your favorite TBS lyric?
There's too many. Taking Back Sunday has had a lot of great lyrics. I was always a fan of "This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue/and two eyes through the scope down the barrel of a gun" from Timberwolves at New Jersey, or in You're So Last Summer "And you could slit my throat/and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize/for bleeding on your shirt". They're so depressing and angry it's awesome. I could go on and on, cause I've got the mic and you've got the moshpit.

5. Do you prefer to greet acquaintances with the stop-and-chat, the awkward wave/head nod, or the ignore-and-check-your-phone method?
It varies. If I'm not in a rush and I see someone I hang out with every once in a while, I'll do the stop-and-chat. If I'm in a rush with soemone I hang out with, or if I see a person that I know but not all that well, I'll do the awkward wave/head nod. I try to stay away from the ignore-and-check-your-phone method, however I have done it a few times to a few girls I'm trying to hide from/are scared of.

******6. Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?????
I'm not sure what oral sex is.

7. If you were Noah, and could only bring one pair of animals on the ark, which kind would you bring?
This is a great question actually. I'd have to go with a pair of Koala Bears. They're awesome. Penguins are my second choice.

8. Mean, median, or mode?
The answer is mode. Always mode.

9. What's your Dunkin Donuts order?
Large caramel coffee, extra extra. If I'm hungry I'll get a Turkey Cheddar Bacon flatbread sandwhich to go with the coffee.

10. Justify your existence in 30 words or less.
Well, obviously we got a rapist here, in Lincoln Park. He's climbing in your windows, snatching your people up, tryna rape em', so ya'll need to hide ya wife, hide ya

12. Favorite spot in RI?
Thayer Street. What else is there to do in Rhode Island? Yeah the mall is fun but if I were going to answer "the mall" I'd seem lame. So I'll go with Thayer Street.

13. Favorite place in the world?
This is pretty tough. Boston is pretty awesome but Chicago is right up there too. If you had a gun to my head and asked me, I'd probably have to go with my family roots and say Boston. Much love to Chi-town though. Go Blackhawks

14. Do you use gmail?
No actually, but if you give me your gmail I'll make one and we can have more conversations about weird questions.

15. Say you were visiting a small, not-on-the-map, 500-population town in South Dakota, all alone. While walking down the unlit (there are no streetlights) street at midnight, in search of a place to stay, a rumpled hooligan mugs you. He steals your wallet, phone, shoes, and pants. The rumpled hooligan was from Kenya, so you couldn't catch him, and since people in South Dakota are anti-social and probably afraid of black people, no one came out to help you. How do you get home?
That's easy, I'd make the town in South Dakota my home. Since theres so few people there, I'd befriend all the anti-social locals and eventually become mayor. I'd bring streetlights to the town, make the police force bigger by higher more people after raising taxes to pay for it and make the neighborhood more safe so that other people can't get mugged by rumpled hooligans from Kenya.

16. When was the last time you used a phone with a cord?
July 2nd, 2010. I answer the phone at my house in my kitchen and my grandmother wanted to ask my mom if she had to bring any meatballs to my birthday party cookout on the 4th.

17. Was Windows 7 your idea?
No, but sliced bread, this blog, remote controls, and Twitter were some of my ideas.

18. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?
You can't put me on the spot like that. No matter what I say people are going to get pissed off and think of me as a bad person. I'm not a politician. I'll keep that answer to myself, but since you skipped question #11, I'll answer a question of my choice: If you could chill with any 3 movie characters who would they be? Well, I'd like to hangout with Ferris Bueller, James Bond, and V from V For Vendetta.

Word Association
Gryffindor: Snape
Apple: Granny Smith
Quarter: Abe Lincoln
Purple: Barney
Diamond: Dustin Pedroia
Blood: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Gum: Cork

the person who left this comment is not who you think it is. nope, it's not that person either. sorry, wrong again! just stop trying, it's useless. As indicated, #6 is the most essential question for understanding that who is Jim Kirwan. Ponder. Contemplate. Answer.

I have to say, I found the majority of this pretty funny, however I have absolutely no idea what the hell #6 is about. Like none. I'm so puzzled by it and how it is the most essential question for understanding who I am. I mean I can see if it was Macaroni and Cheese, cause that's a no brainer but no cheese is just weird. However, you could make the point that Macaroni and Cheese isn't possible without cheese....damn. As for my answer, I went the sarcastic route, which actually in a way sums me up pretty well considering I'm sarcastic the majority of the time. Whatever, I have one question for you person who gave me all these questions, and I want you to respond to this in the comment section of this blogpost: What happened to question #11?

Anyways, keep on the questions. And c'mon just reveal who you are. I mean here I am responding to your loving questions but you won't even give me a clue at who you are. Just give me some hints or clues.

It's Kool 2B in Skool

Summer is as dead as Tupac right now. Everyone is busting out their hoodies and are back in high school homerooms or in college dorms. For a solid 12 years, I dreaded the end of Autumn and the start of school. For me it meant less time to play with LEGO's, Barbies and WWF action figures and more time learning about that bastard Grover Cleaveland and how to tell time. Looking back upon it now, my 8 year old self would kill himself (myself?) if he found out that when I made it to college, I'd be excited to start school. Now I know that for some of my younger readers in grades K through 12 are balking at the fact that I said I'm glad to be back in the hood of Providence College (yeah the hood, our basketball players beat up students!), the fact remains that I am indeed pumped to be back. Now there are numerous reasons, but let's first discuss the main reason. I like to refer to it as the SWSS. The Syllabus Week Sh!tshow.

What is the Syllabus Week Sh!tshow you ask? It is the first full week of classes to start off a semester. Basically it gives the whole campus a reason to become three sheets to the wind and show up in class the next day feeling Allan, Phil and Stu in The Hangover. All you do that first week is listen to the professor talk about the syllabus and you learn about the lives of your professors. Since no one cares about their professors lives, it gives the students who had a few too many daddy soda's and brewdog's to stare out into space practice sleeping with their eyes open. Sure, occasionally you might have to stand up and say who you are, where you're from and why you're taking the class. This can be fun for creative people, because all you have to do is lie about everything besides your name. Even still, you could lie about your preferred name if you really wanted to. Honestly, how would the professor find out? Now that I think about it, next semester I'm going to try to use a different first name for each class, with a different location and a completely random reason for taking the class. Maybe in my Chemistry class I'll be Ronnie Kirwan, from Kalamazoo, Michigan and I'm taking Chemistry because I'm trying to prove that Dinosaurs never existed. Perhaps in my Social Psychology class I'll be Tuukka Kirwan, from Boise, Idaho and I'm taking Social Psychology in order to learn how to make the next social networking site like Facebook or Twitter. The possibilities are endless. College classes are nice because professors don't care about you. It's not like high school where you're stuck with the same teacher for a full school year and see him/her at least 3 times a week minimum. In college your professor remembers your name after a semester you should feel blessed. The SWSS is the one week during the semester where you have extremely little reading if any, tons of time to kill, and most importantly, checking out your new surroundings. Let's dig deeper gang.

I am starting my Junior year here in beautiful Providence, and I have moved to the complete other side of campus, which is about a football field away from where I lived last year. This being said, I now have a cozy apartment with four of my best friends, complete with a view of a somewhat busy street and a few trees. I have a stove now, which is a big upgrade, our own shower and bathroom, and now the school has trusted us Juniors to live with members of the opposite sex on the same floor! Of course, we can't even look at girls past 2 a.m. cause the bible says so or something like that, but it's a step up! I feel like a king in this new apartment, even if it does cost way too much money and is slightly overcrowded. I can now show off all the cooking skills I don't have to all the gorgeous coed's that will not be in our apartment (I'll blame Gaynor and Sean for that).

It's also lovely being reunited with people that in late April/early May I'd 'plan' on visiting over the summer but never talked to. The classic "Hey! How was your summer!" conversation happens so many times I can recite it verbatum. Picture yourself at a local PC watering hole, and you see someone you kinda sorta hang out with, probably have a few pictures together on Facebook, maybe have a class together and someone that you'll usually give the classic awkward smile and wave to when your walking around campus. The conversation will go like this, Hot Girl "Jim! Hey!" Me, "Hey." Hot Girl, "Sooo, how was your summer!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!!?" Me, "Eh it was okay. How about you." Hot Girl, "Umm yeah same I worked a lot. It flew by huh!" Me, "yeah" Hot Girl "wanna make out?" Me, "sure.". Yep. That's the classic welcome back conversation that I always get. It gets real old real quick.

Another reason why it's great to be back is because it's still warm enough for girls to wear clothing that guys like. When it gets below 50 degrees, it seems that every girl on this campus wears the classic outfit of a Northface Jacket, black leggings, and Uggs. I have no idea what they have on under the Northface. I've never seen a girl take hers off if it's under 50 degrees. Its like trying to figure out what is behind the screen in your TV, just what it looks like under what your watching. It creeps me out. Anyways, its nice right now to watch a football game and then go outside and see girls tanning on the quad still. Bros would call it "Brotastic".

I am also real excited for the work waiting for me in my classes this semester. I think it's really neat that I get to get back into the grind and enrich my mind with information that will never leave me. Doing work is good for the soul and, by golly, we should all be grateful for the opportunity to write papers on stuff we'll forget when the semester is over.

I am also a liar.

Today is still technically Monday, which means I've been here for a full week. It's bittersweet because now it means that the SWSS has come to an end. No more parties on Monday nights and fooling around Tuesday night. I now have to do work during the week and spend the weekends living like a sailor, with college parties and Miller Lites as my high seas, along with my crew of other drunken friends. This year I'm hoping to have more stories about friends to tell my grandchildren, make a couple of new friends who can get me a job in the future if I ever need it, be the best looking person wearing a Tuxedo at our Junior Ring Weekend event, and become a master chef in the art of Macaroni and Cheese due to our newly aquired stove in our apartment. In other words, I'm glad to be back. Do I occasionally miss East Providence? Sure some people. This was a good summer. I had a lot of good times with old friends and with some new friends (Cranston Girlz- you four know who you are), but nevertheless, I'm glad to be back in Friartown. Yeah baby.

As for shoutouts, congratulations to Jed "Bow and Arrows" Smith who won my wittiest status contest on facebook, you were a lock with the smash and bash tactics and then attempting to make Danny Allen blush. Also, a shoutout is in order for Sean "Sugah" Mottola for judging it and being a wonderful roommate so far, and thank you to Matt "The Body/Beowulf/The Great Dane/Gaynor The Terrible/The Delegate from Denmark" Gaynor for suggesting to write about the greatness of coming back to school. Also, I'm not quite positive about this, but if memory serves me correct, I believe the first time I heard of the term Syllabus Week Sh!tshow, it was from my dear friend and fellow Friar/East Bay resident Jenna Borkoski. So thank you Jenna for giving me a new vocab word.

Go Friars, God Bless America, and Stay Classy San Diego.
Sincerely,
Jimothy